By Randy Cohen
A proposal introduced by the British government would impose a 15 day waiting period. Before you can do what?
by noon ET Sunday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com.
Responses to Wednesday’s Question (No. 136)–“We Brand of Brothers”:
Fill in the blank as Chase Untermeyer, President Bush’s former appointments secretary, assesses the new Republican dynasty led by the victorious Jeb and George W.:
“It’s a competitive family. I don’t think it’s competitive with a hard edge to it, but if you ever see the Bushes playing ________________, it can be pretty frightening.”
“Favorites.”–David Rakoff
“Footsie.”–Ananda Gupta
“Footsie with Maureen Dowd.”–Jennifer Miller
“House.”–Jon Schwarz
“Doctor.”–Tim Rogers
“Doctor with Marlin Fitzwater.”–Jennifer Miller
“Doctor and refusing women their reproductive rights.”–Beth Sherman
“Dumb.”–Deb Stavin
“Dead.”–Jon Schwarz
“With their Barbies.”–Chuck Lawhorn (Marshall Efron had a similar answer.)
“With themselves.”–Caroline Herter (similarly, Steven Levy)
“Pocket pool.”–Dennis Cass
“Strip poker.”–David Finkle
“Strip horseshoes.”–Bill Franzen (similarly, Noah Meyerson)
“Strip arm-wrestling.”–Larry Amaros
“Co-ed naked softball.”–Daniel Radosh
“Naked leapfrog.”–Nell Scovell
“Naked Twister.”–Jack Hitt (similarly, Larry Schnur)
“Naked Twister with Ann Richards.”–Jon Hotchkiss
“Crisco Twister.”–Brooke Saucier
“Three-card monte.”–Marshall Efron
“Half-truth or dare.”–Bill Franzen
“Dungeons and Dragons.”–Matt Sullivan (similarly, Aaron Schatz)
“Cootie.”–Merrill Markoe
“Battleship.”–David Rosen
“Pass the pipe.”–Paul Tullis
“Tongue hockey.”–Dennis Cass
“Butt bingo.”–Robert Wayman
“Stinky pinkie.”–Alan Zimmerman
“Hide the salami.”–Doug Strauss
“Spin the bottle.”–Joydip Kundu
“Spot the Jew.”–David Rakoff
“Bash the broccoli (???).”–Lois Ambash
“Invest the trust fund.”–Jonathon Snow
“Hide-and-go-seek a new set of expedient principles.”–Jennifer Miller
“Monopoly with S & L bailout money.”–Wayne Self
“Polo with the heads of the vanquished.”–Mike Mays
“Pin the tail on Ronald Reagan.”–Eric Zicklin
“Pin the tail on the little brown ones.”–Jennifer Miller (similarly, Steve Bodow)
“Give Mom a makeover.”–Eliot Cohen
“I spy something wider than Mom’s ass.”–David Rakoff
“My dad is better than your dad.”–Andrew Cohen
“Quién es mas macho?”–Adam Bonin
“Oedipus.”–Jon Schwarz
“The principal roles in King Lear.”–Richard Primoff
“All 22 roles from Vampire Lesbians of Sodom.”–Peter Lerangis
“Blanche and Stanley in Streetcar.”–Steve Bodow
“Their version of Thelma and Louise.”–Marshall Efron
“In a revival of A Chorus Line.”–Jon Schwarz
“With their respective states’ lethal injection machine.”–David Rakoff
“With the future of our country.”–Cliff Schoenberg
“Hard to get.”–Nicole Cody
“Reggae.”–Evan Cornog
“Slug-bug.”–Eric Fredericksen
“Scrabble, in SPANISH!”–Deb Stavin
“Scrabble with Dan Quayle.”–I.C. Graham
“Candyland with their nieces and nephews.”–Colleen Werthmann
“In Peoria, as ‘compassionate moderates’ who just happen to be unyieldingly anti-choice and rabidly pro-death-penalty.”–Jennifer Miller
“The vision thing.”–Carrie Rickey
“That ‘read my lips’ game.”–Norman Oder
“Around with little girls.”–Marshall Efron
“That game where you ‘cross swords’ in the bathroom.”–Jon Hotchkiss
“Kick me, stick me, burn me with cigarettes.”–Marshall Efron
“Let’s hunt and kill Chase Untermeyer.”–Jon Schwarz
Randy’s Wrap-Up
Today’s question garnered far more responses than any before. Rather than ruin their poetical rhythms, all replies run on Page 1; there are no click-here-for-mores.
Why the upsurge of interest? Well, fill-in-the-blank is always a popular form. There’s the inviting ambiguity and delightful multiple meanings of the word “playing”–rich comic territory. And perhaps there is a rich vein of Bush loathing waiting to be mined. But there are other possibilities:
Defeat of Al D’Amato means IRS less likely to audit returns of particularly vituperative players.
Enormous population of nonvoters felt time was better spent making crude remarks at expense of fatuous candidates.
Deliberately misleading “cash prizes” rumor now circulating freely.
We leaked the pseudonym Salinger uses when he plays the quiz.
Participants still giddy from Halloween sugar high.
“News Quiz” now integrated into Windows NT.
… And into lovable, family friendly Windows ET.
Death of John Glenn in battle with UFO left millions yearning for life-affirming communal activity. (Query Kinsley: Slate readers all cleared for this info?)
News Quiz seen as lively alternative to canceled NBA season, with little risk of Patrick Ewing mishandling a key punch line.
New players drawn by hints that Gupta-Sherman flirtation is about to catch fire.
Class Unconsciousness Answer
“Tennis, or even backgammon.”
The final piece in the Bushes as New Political Dynasty puzzle–the loser brother. Their Billy Carter? Neil Bush, a director of Silverado Banking, a savings and loan whose failure cost the taxpayers $1 billion.
Counting the Dead and Assigning the Blame Extra
“People were very angry last night. Today it’s a mixture of seething and dismay. It’s just ugly.”–anonymous GOP aide, explaining who’s responsible for yesterday’s disappointing results: Newt Gingrich
“Most people are really angry with Newt, and no one knows what to do with it.”–some other anonymous GOP aide, determining who caused this election debacle: Newt Gingrich
“There’s no way to put a smiley face on it.”–James Dobson of Focus on the Family, laying the blame at the door of that foul-up Newt Gingrich
“He looks like the victim of an accident. He’s very somber in tone.”–Rep. Peter King, describing how a guy looks when he’s derailed a major political party: a guy like Newt Gingrich
“I frankly don’t understand all the things that happened yesterday, and I’m not sure anybody else in the country does either.”–Newt Gingrich, deciding it’s not really his fault after all
Adam Bonin’s Political Philosophy Extra
Complete the following from Minnesota Governor-elect Jesse “The Body” Ventura:
“Win if you can, lose if you must, but always, always _____.”
Answer
Cheat. (From the governor’s days as a wrestling commentator.)
Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate’s discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission.
