Short, Sharp Shock

Short, Sharp Shock

Short, Sharp Shock

Testing your knowledge of what happened this week
Oct. 29 1998 3:30 AM

Short, Sharp Shock

 

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"Head of the new Democratic Campaign Finance Committee."--Lane Tripper

"The Western New York chapter of the Pro-Life Rifle Club."--David Rakoff (Matthew Cole and Doug Strauss had similar answers.)

"Ad placement in the 'Singles' section of the Army of God newsletter."--Brooke Saucier (similarly, but openly hostile to Paul McCartney and New York magazine, Beth Sherman)

"A Blockbuster card. Now, in addition to a credit card and driver's license, you have to answer the three questions and swear undying fealty to Sumner Redstone."--Tim Carvell

"Baywatch Christian Soldiers, a new TV show about a scantily clad team of buxom lifeguards who patrol the beaches of Southern California in search of surfing atheists to rescue."--Judith Spencer

"It's the nubile all-girl Taliban Broken Rules of the Koran Punishing Squad Cheerleaders. 'Go Omar, break his leg. He shaved this morning, bash his head.' The one that starts 'He looked at me gooning with lust, do the trick, Hamid, take an axe and chop' cannot be translated."--Marshall Efron

"To be a contestant on Win Ben Stein's Money."--Larry Amaros

"Head-snappin', fon-kaaaaay booty jamz."--Colleen Werthmann

"Centerfold model in Nuns With Guns magazine."--Joydip Kundu

"Membership."--Tim Rogers

"Self-employment."--Peter Lerangis

"Popemobile driver."--Christopher Clark

"Terrorist heaven."--Dennis Cass

"Fidel Castro's weekly prayer meeting."--Carrie Rickey

"Antichrist."--Dan Kritchevsky

"Mormon militia."--Matthew Singer

"The Baseball Hall of Fame's new Outstanding Islamic Fundamentalists wing."--Anonymous

"Either rabbi to the Taliban or archbishop of Bolshevism. Sure, these jobs are glamorous, but the turnover rate is murder."--Jim O'Grady

"A doctorate from the University of California, Berkeley School of Divinity."--Ananda Gupta

"Cleanup committee for the Episcopal Church Women's Fall Festival. Both are helpful in persuading the less fortunate to pick up empty sherry glasses and soggy petits fours with humility and enthusiasm."--Nicole Cody

"A gig as a stripper at the 'Salman, really, we were just kidding! We thought it was a really funny book! What's a fatwah between friends?' surprise party."--Duncan Murrell

"The new joint Microsoft-Vatican Web site: Microsoft Trinity."--Ryan Kriger

"To join the Contraception Contras, the pope's posse of Vatican vigilantes. Their mission: to destroy all birth control devices, to ensure that all sperm has a name."--Matt Sullivan

"To win the Nobel Peace Prize, even if you're associated with groups that have participated in the slaughter of thousands of people, while you've done little or nothing for years to stop them! Congratulations David Trimble and John Hume!"--Eric Nelson

Self-Reference Corner

"The latest 'News Quiz' contest, 'Win a Date With Ananda Gupta!' "--Tim Carvell

"An exclusive behind the scenes tour of the Buddy Faro set, led by Jon Hotchkiss."--Deb Stavin

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"The News Quiz Gold Club. (Randy: Will you thank Michael Kinsley for me for that big fat check?)"--David Rakoff

Randy Cohen used to write Slate's "News Quiz." His most recent book—oh, like you don't know.