Oh, What a System
"Reception."--Tim Rogers
"Sonny Bono's Republican tendencies."--Brooke Saucier
"Major Healy's continuous attempts to use Genie for his own personal gain."--Alex Balk
"Morgan Freeman's acting abilities once he shaved his afro and got off The Electric Company."--Aaron Schatz
"Dennis Weaver's depiction of the disabled on Gunsmoke. Once viewed as callous and hardhearted, it is now considered realistic and compassionate."--Cliff Schoenberg
"Looking at Doug McClure's first name on the credits for The Virginian and figuring the spelling 'jut felt' wrong."--John Snell
"The deeply subversive irony of The Munsters pitying their blond bombshell niece Marilyn for her looks!"--Jim O'Grady
"The Vietnam War. Who knew, back then, that it would give us so many great movies, like Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, and Braddock: Missing In Action 3? Let's not forget Reagan fave John Rambo."--Matt Sullivan
"The blight of McDonald's on the American landscape. The turning point for Sweden--the McLutefish! (It's also a Royale With Cheese in Stockholm)."--Andrew Staples
"Operating the remote."--Peter Lerangis
"The conclusive proof that Certs really ARE two mints in one."--Andrew Milner
"The ongoing character-building effects of the Peanuts specials on my playfully sarcastic yet warmly tender-hearted generation. That Snoopy ... what a scamp!"--Jim O'Grady
"Public access. 'Not only was it wrong, it was very wrong. Disturbing,' he whispered, trembling, as he recalled the heyday of Dancing Skroenk, St. Lucia's Got a Brand New Bag, and Bergmania!"--Colleen Werthmann
"The need for massive quantities of Prozac and Zoloft to keep the dames of daytime television dithering. Roseanne and Kathie Lee, are you reading this?"--Carrie Rickey
"Why that chef on The Muppet Show was a dignified and respectful portrayal of a Swedish person."--Jennifer Miller
"Don Knotts trying to catch a glimpse of Suzanne Somers' cleavage. With the advent of the Wonderbra, this is now, of course, not just socially acceptable but socially encouraged behavior. We are so enlightened!"--Todd Kaderabek
"How much less funny Saturday Night Live would become. 'Those were the good old, bad old days,' sighed Jutfelt. 'And I miss them.' "--Beth Sherman
"That the U.S. broadcast networks could possibly go lower than My Mother the Car or Supertrain."--Gary Frazier
"The staying power of insipid television reruns with an allegedly more cultured European audience."--Chris Thomas
"About how accurate their assessment of Swedish television would prove to be over time."--David Finkle
"The tolerance of the pious (cf Starr Report) for 'oral-anal contact.' "--Steve Reiness
Randy Cohen used to write Slate's "News Quiz." His most recent book—oh, like you don't know.


