By Randy Cohen
Provo, Utah's Daily Herald reports that the City Council has changed the definition of "family" in its housing code by eliminating a single word. What word?
by 5 p.m. ET Sunday, Aug. 16 to e-mail your answer (email@example.com).
Responses to Wednesday's question (No. 94)--"Job Fair":
According to Utah's weekly Box Elder News Journal, Ginger Bess will soon leave her position but recommends it to others, "because you can fix yourself up mentally, physically and spiritually." What does Ginger do?
"Cocaine. And lots of it."--Jeremy Horwitz
"She's a Box Elder. (Duh.)"--Cliff Schoenberg
"Ginger is the world's tiniest flagpole sitter."--Larry Amaros (David Finkle had a similar answer.)
"Works the door at 'Mountains,' the hottest gentleman's club in Park City. 'There's just, you know, a lot of responsibility, and I get to be outside and stuff,' said Bess, shivering in a windbreaker, garters and tights, and five-inch stilettos."--Colleen Werthmann
"White House intern."--Leon Hsu
"Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' most recent ex-nanny."--Leslie Goodman-Malamuth
"Mike Barnicle's attribution-checker; she left as of July 31."--Andrew Milner
Click for more responses.
I wish to slander no quiz participant, but I must sadly report that while Peter Lerangis (click) knew the answer to today's question, he could only have known it (although I can't prove this) by doing actual research. "News Quiz" began as an arena for the preconceived, the unsubstantiated, and the idiosyncratic. I hate to see that jeopardized by the irresponsible actions of a few hotheads with their "facts" garnered through "effort." Sadly, this goes beyond the quiz. Undermining the cheap East Coast prejudices upon which Utah Week is built, the religion column in today's Provo Daily Herald cites an article in The Nation. Favorably.
I think we all need a hiatus, a period of contemplation and self-criticism. And so I shall spend next week in Colonial Williamsburg, refreshing myself through contact with a trained professional actor dressed like Thomas Jefferson. I urge you all to do likewise.
(That is, I'll be dressed like Thomas Jefferson. Everyone else is free to wear what they like.)
News Quiz will resume Monday, Aug. 17, with the gala culmination of Utah Week. Until then, as it says on the state seal just above the beehive and the sego lilies: Industry!
(All right: I looked it up.)
Not a Beauty Contest Answer
Ginger is completing her term as 1997-1998 Brigham City Peach Queen. This scholarship pageant is open to young women 18-25 who live within the Box Elder High School District. It includes talent, interview, swimsuit and evening wear competition. The winner represents Brigham City at the Miss Utah Pageant.
"If you're worried about finding a dress, there are plenty of local ladies who can help you," says Ginger. "You can do anything for your talent, from reading a poem or performing a dance or singing."
Mormon Mocking Extra
The Davis County School District has banned some volunteers' "distracting" religious apparel. What apparel?
B. Giant neon yarmulkes
C. Chrome-plated laser yarmulkes whose integral sound systems feature mega-bass
Unfortunately Prejudice-Busting Answer
Mormon missionaries' "Elder" name tags.
The Associated Press reports that the district will no longer allow volunteers on school grounds if they are wearing disruptive religious apparel or proselytizing messages. They will permit apparel that is required by a person's religion or is part of a person's ordinary work dress. The action follows a complaint from a student's parents that Mormon missionaries, wearing the traditional dark suits, ties, and name tags, were volunteering at East Layton Elementary School.
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