No. 91: “You Be the Choreographer”

No. 91: “You Be the Choreographer”

No. 91: “You Be the Choreographer”

Testing your knowledge of what happened this week
Aug. 1 1998 3:30 AM

No. 91: “You Be the Choreographer”

No. 91: "You Be the Choreographer"

By Randy Cohen

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Dead at 79, Broadway and ballet great Jerome Robbins.

What do critics consider his greatest mistake?

62000_62283_newsquiz_email

by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to e-mail your answer (newsquiz@slate.com).

Responses to Wednesday's question (No. 90)--"A and Q":

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I give Mike McCurry's answer; you give the question from yesterday's White House press conference.

Answer: "He is a human being. I don't think that would be a surprise to anyone."

"That Elephant Man: Is he some kind of animal, or what?"--Daniel Radosh (Beth Sherman had a similar answer, as did Juris Odins, with an anti-Gingrich sting.)

"Is it true that President Clinton copped a cheap feel off the widows during the funeral for the policemen slain at the Capitol?"--Chris Thomas

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"Mike! Is Larry King a frog?"--Tim Carvell

"Have the recent subpoenaed medical files revealed anything significant about Linda Tripp?"--Peter Lerangis (similarly ad hominem: Alli Sondak, Larry Amaros, and Rich Harrington)

"Why does the president still buy, like, $50 worth of scratch tickets every week?"--Danny Spiegel

"Does the president get a 'warm, tingly feeling' when he thinks about carrying the new Sacajawea coin in his front pocket?"--Charlie Glassenberg

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"Trent Lott: animal, vegetable, or mineral?"--Doug Strauss

Click for more responses.

Randy's Wrap-Up

O.J. Simpson's mansion is razed, Clarence Thomas' feelings are hurt, and Mike Tyson goes nuts at a New Jersey Boxing Commission hearing while explaining that he'll never lose his temper again--and "News Quiz" is supposed to pose only a single question? Did we explore the paralyzed Chinese gymnast's request for a visit from Leonardo DiCaprio or Marie Claire magazine's request for Susan Sarandon to handle the January issue, so happy was it with the editorial brilliance of Gwyneth Paltrow? We did not. And Al Sharpton's newspeak claim of victory when the Pagones jury nailed him for $60,000 in punitive damages: Did we get to poke that with a stick? Nope. And what about members of the entertainment industry (i.e., Saturday Night Live) mocking average Americans (i.e., Linda Tripp)? Would you really want to defend the claim that SNL is entertaining? News Quiz would, but there's just no time. However, we would like to mention that to clean and polish the leaves of your Amorphophallus titanum, an enormous tropical flower that smells like rotting flesh, you can't beat free-range rug shampoo.

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Put On a Happy Answer, i.e., Question

Question: "Well, that would suggest, Mike, that if the president's pleased that things are working out for Monica Lewinsky, there's still some sympathy that he has toward the former intern here?"

Steven L. Smith's Casting Couch Extra

For a dramatic re-enactment of the Ken Starr investigation, S.L.S's choice of actor is listed first, followed by those of other News Quiz participants.

Ken Starr............Ed Harris

Matt Damon--Colleen Werthmann

Bill Clinton............Woody Harrelson

Ralph Fiennes--CW

Hillary Clinton............Michelle Pfeiffer

Betty Buckley--Barbara Lippert

Sharon Stone--CW

Monica Lewinsky............Ricki Lake

Sherilyn Fenn--BL

Shannen Doherty--CW

Linda Tripp............Kathy Bates

Glenn Close--CW

Susan McDougal............Susan Sarandon

James McDougal............Albert Finney

Webster Hubbel............Randy Quaid

Aaron Albright's Addenda

Grand Juror............Pauli Shore

Kathleen Willey............Madonna

Wolf Blitzer............Joe Pesci (with rug, of course)

Udo Kier--CW

Dan Burton............Fred Thompson

Paula Jones............Paula Jones

Aaron Osterby Includes

Vernon Jordan............James Earl Jones

Matt Drudge............Himself

Colleen Werthmann Expands

Marcia Lewinsky............Linda Hunt

Mike McCurry............Kevin Spacey

Chelsea Clinton............Dominique Swain/Heather Graham/Liv Tyler

Dick Gephardt............Tommy Lee Jones

Al Gore............Norm Macdonald (trying to salvage movie career by playing "heavy")

Betty Currie............Angela Bassett

Jesse Helms............Charles Durning

Chelsea's College Boyfriend............Joaquin Phoenix

Court Stenographer............Colleen Werthmann (hooks up with Starr at the end)

Peter Arnett............Johnny Depp (in heavy makeup)

Barbra Streisand............Herself

Doug Strauss Enhances

Tim Russert............Randy Quaid

Sam Donaldson............Leonard Nimoy

Chris Matthews and Linda Tripp............Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter

Monica Lewinsky (in 2015 flash-forward)............Linda Tripp

Linda Tripp (in 1980 flashback)............Monica Lewinsky

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