By Randy Cohen
Unless it comes up with more than $211 million–but quick–the United States will lose something. What?
by noon ET Tuesday to e-mail your answer (newsquiz@slate.com).
Responses to Thursday’s question (No. 73)–“Scrawl of the Wild”:
During his nine day China trip, what slogan is President Clinton least likely to see on a demonstrator’s sign?
“Lose Weight Now! Ask Me How!”–Leslie Goodman-Malamuth
“Beijing University Coed Naked Bullet-Dodging Team ‘98.”–Colleen Werthmann
“US: STOP PUTTING DOWN MSG!”–Meg Wolitzer
“Bambang and Tutut, their father could at least keep his fly zipped!”–Andrew Solovay
“My dad funneled $175,000 to the DNC and had tea at the White House, but all I got was a lousy T-shirt.”–John Solomon
“Demonstrators? What demonstrators?”–Jonathon Snow
“Gennifer, Paula, and Monica
The list goes on and on
Send home the Sensuous Yankee
Before he goes after Mulan.”–Russ Evansen
Click for more responses.
Randy’s Wrap-Up: Correction
We get very little light verse here at “News Quiz,” so it was particularly nice to see Russ Evansen’s entry. Ours may be the golden age of the sound bite (and its print equivalent, the single sentence quotation), the 30 second commercial, and the formal apology that doesn’t actually admit wrongdoing, but we are short on rhymed commentary. Here’s a sample from the Column Book of F.P.A., a 1928 collection by Franklin Pearce Adams (courtesy of Chris Kelly), “The Pessimist’s Forecast”:
Monday’s child is sad of face;
Tuesday’s child will lose the race;
Wednesday’s child has a row to hoe;
Thursday’s child is full of woe;
Friday’s child has futile strife;
Saturday’s child has a mournful life;
While the child that’s born on the Sabbath day
Will find that life is dull and gray.
Leftovers: The Opium of the People Who Don’t Watch Enough Television
“If everyone in China were Christian, then China would live in peace.”–He Jiazhen, 70, refers to seeing President Clinton in church
“Just in case I’m on the subway and Moshiach [messiah] comes, I’ll have one.”–Rivky Shvey, 33, refers to her Rabbi Menachem Schneerson signature model tambourine. Also available–official posters, tapes, and candy bars of the charismatic Hasidic leader who died four years ago. Followers await his imminent return
“Rabbi says it’s OK to hate a little. It helps you do the right thing.”–Susan McDougal refers to her prison rabbi
“We’re showing that you can be gay and Catholic.”–Lewis Tanner, twirling a rainbow-colored umbrella as he marched with Dignity New York in Sunday’s gay pride parade
Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate’s discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission.
