By Randy Cohen
Fill in the blank.
At the annual meeting of the Arkansas Bar Association, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas said: “I was still one of those guys who, when I saw the White House, I got goose bumps. When I see the Capitol at night, I get______________.”
by noon ET Tuesday to e-mail your answer (newsquiz@slate.com).
Responses to Thursday’s question (No. 69)–“No More Pencils”:
As June concludes, it’s time for editors to run the annual school’s out photo, like this one from today’s New York Times:
Photo: Lovable tots in yellow caps and gowns exchange hugs.
Caption: CONGRATULATIONS ALL AROUND. Candace Rambaran, right, and her classmate, Jennifer Marte, hug each other after graduating, along with 12 other legally blind 5-year-olds, from the Children’s Learning Center at Helen Keller Services for the Blind yesterday.
Adorable, but perhaps anachronistic. You are invited to submit a more contemporary school’s out photo and caption likely to run in the newspaper of your choice.
Click for more responses.
“Photo: Adorable youngsters hug one another.
Caption: MAGIC CARPET RIDE. With primary-school funding drying up, it’s into the real world for 12 legally blind 5-year-olds as they embark on promising new careers in carpet-making. ‘Why send all the way to Isfahan when we have blind and crippled children right here in Gotham? New York will lead the world in the beauty of its rugs,’ said Mayor Giuliani, admiring the new graduates’ first efforts, a series of floor coverings on a Mulan theme.”–David Rakoff
“Caption: Charlton Heston leads the first graduating class of youngsters from his groundbreaking outreach program, ‘Aim for the Head Start.’ The organization is dedicated to providing firearms early on to white, middle-class children.”–Beth Sherman (Russ Evansen had a similar answer.)
“Kabul Constitution photo: Bearded, turbaned man armed with an AK-47 fires at group of chador-clad women.
Caption: Taliban official explains single-sex education to the late graduates.”–Juris Odins
“Caption: Sen. Trent Lott greets graduates of the East Central High School class of ‘98 with a complimentary pack of Marlboros and a warm ‘Smoke all you want, kids, we just got $50 million worth of ‘em!’ “–Chuck Lawhorn
Randy’s Wrap-Up
Guns, God, and guts–that’s what “News Quiz” participants think makes American education so, well, American. In New York this week, many elementary schools are preparing for fifth grade graduation ceremonies. Is this good news because it’s a chance to praise and encourage young students, or bad news because it implies the grim reality that this may be the only graduation many of these kids ever get? It depends on whether you see the glass as half empty or half full of unkept pledges to repair crumbling schools, relieve overcrowded classrooms, and replace antiquated boilers, many of which still burn the discarded baseball bats of Yankee sluggers, provided under the mayor’s imaginative Crumbs From George Steinbrenner’s Table program.
Sports Extra–Proliferation Test
I name some sides that vied this weekend; you give the league they compete in. (Hint: Winning teams are listed first.)
1. Detroit Shock vs. Washington Mystics
2. Tampa Bay Mutiny vs. Dallas Burn
3. Tampa Bay Storm vs. Albany Firebirds
4. NYPL vs. MoMA
1. Women’s National Basketball Association
2. Major League Soccer
3. Arena Football
4. New York City Politics
(The City Council restored the $15 million Mayor Giuliani had slashed from the public libraries and cut $65 million he’d earmarked for the wealthy Museum of Modern Art.)
Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate’s discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission.
