News Quiz

No. 42, Weekend Special: “Future News Corrections”

No. 42, Weekend Special: “Future News Corrections”

By Randy Cohen

“A picture caption on Sunday with an article about efforts to eradicate opium in Myanmar misidentified an armed man in a poppy field. He was a Burmese soldier sent to guard the field after it was discovered, not a militiaman from the Wa hill people.”

Above, an actual item from the New York Times corrections column. You are invited to submit a correction likely to run over the next few weeks.

by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to e-mail your answer (NewsQuiz@slate.com).

Responses to Wednesday’s question (No. 41)–“Moving Four Words”:

The list is: “positive,” “important,” “courageous,” “bold.”

List of what?

“Better names for a submarine than ‘James Earl Carter.’
“Some British names for warships: Formidable, Invincible, Indefatigable, Inflexible, Indomitable, Menace, Onslaught, Conqueror, Thunderer, Repulse, Revenge. American name for a warship: Jimmy. I mean, why bother?”–Chris Kelly

“Words Graydon Carter will use, in his forthcoming editor’s letter, to describe Herb Ritts’ dazzling photos of Monica Lewinsky frolicking on the beach.”–Ariel Kaminer

“The old Wyatt Earp was ‘brave, courageous, and bold.’ The new Wyatt Earp will be ‘positive, important,’ etc. At least if the studio-convened focus groups have any say in the matter.”–Steve Radlauer

“According to Nexis, adjectives never used in the same sentence as ‘Dick Armey.’ “–Chris Thomas

“Attributes that pre-Scientological Travolta just TOTALLY lacked.”–Colleen Werthmann

“Miss May’s biggest turn-ons in Playboy’s new ‘Girls of the Executive Branch’ issue.”–Beth Sherman

“Change ‘bold’ to ‘bald’ and I’m not talkin’ it, I’m livin’ it.”–Brian Danenberg

Click for more responses.

Randy’s Wrap-Up

Most of you employed this list of virtues to denigrate those who lack them. How I pity you in your dark little hells. With so much general excellence in the world, you might have used those words to praise some generally excellent kind of guy like Jann Wenner. That’s what 1,400 far more upbeat people did during lunch at the Waldorf yesterday for the National Magazine Awards. They found Rolling Stone to be even more generally excellent than Martha Stewart Living, another nominee in Wenner’s category. “This stands for old-fashioned values,” Wenner said of the coveted award for general excellence in magazines with a circulation of over one million. Also honored, Entertainment Weekly for an article on Seinfeld arcana.

Not a Lukewarm Answer

It is a list of admiring adjectives from Secretary of State Madeleine Albright for Japanese Prime Minister Ryutaro Hashimoto’s economic stimulus package. When some found her endorsement too tepid, the secretary replied, “That’s about as hot as I can make it.”

Leftovers

“As the technology evolves, the use of dead celebrities is on the rise.”–Mark Perman, director of talent agency ICM’s sports celebrity department

“We want to make sure Dad’s not put on a toothpick.”–David Mantle

Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate’s discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission.