By Randy Cohen
The list is: "positive," "important," "courageous," "bold."
List of what?
by noon ET Thursday to e-mail your answer (NewsQuiz@slate.com).
Responses to Tuesday's question (No. 40)--"Hello?":
Fill in the blank.
Speaking to Christian evangelicals at the White House Monday, President Clinton said, "She knows I work late, so some nights at a quarter to 1 or something, the phone rings. It's ___________."
"Sister Marie, asking me to switch my long-distance carrier to MCI."--Patty Marx
"Always Phyllis Schlafly, asking, 'Am I pretty? Am I cute? Am I enough?' "--Larry Amaros
"A burring, insistent tonality, steady and musical. Like a hymn sung by one of those French maid characters in the Bible."--Charlie Rubin
"Chelsea's new best friend, 'Ginger,' and ol' Satan starts whispering in my ear again, and that portrait of Hillary I keep on the wall behind me starts bleeding from the eyes some more."--Bill Franzen
"Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who listens to my bedtime prayers and then chews me out."--Leslie Goodman-Malamuth
"Usually for Al Franken, who lives up my ass. He asked if he could live there. I thought it was a joke. But it wasn't. Except it was. But, actually, it wasn't. People ask me, 'Isn't it uncomfortable being a head of state with a former satirist up your ass?' And I say, 'No, because he's very dry.' And I'm kidding. But really I'm not."--Chris Kelly
Click for more responses.
Sex, sex, sex. God, God, God. Once again, here was an opportunity to mock the most deeply held spiritual beliefs of our fellow citizens. But no more than twice a week. For the sex, sex, sex. At least for Viagra-enhanced sex. Several large insurers intend to pay for only two pills a week, selecting that number as the average for marital sex.
Wasn't it JFK who said, "Some look at marital sex and ask why; I look at marital sex and ask, 'Would someone please get Marilyn on the phone?' "
So much for the pursuit of happiness. When a pill promising pleasure becomes available, your insurance company decides how much pleasure is enough. In the case of Cigna, incidentally, six times a month is enough, which might tell you something about the men of Cigna. Of course, you can always pay for it out of your own pocket. But maybe this isn't the proper topic for the phrase "out of your own pocket," unless you want to go back to taunting evangelicals. And who doesn't!
"I don't think it was the snake's fault, and I don't think it was my fault."--Matthew Cochado, New York high school student
"Trees have their place in forests and parks, but not every dozen or so feet along every New York City street."--William Green, New York letter-to-the-editor writer
"Mr. President, as they do in grade school, this is show-and-tell day."--Jesse Helms, U.S. senator
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