By Randy Cohen
It “isn’t just about dollars and cents. It’s about winning wars and saving lives.” What is? Says who?
by noon ET on Wednesday to e-mail your answers (NewsQuiz@slate.com).
Responses to Monday’s question (No. 18)–“Test Test”:
Fill in the blank.
Attacking President Clinton’s evocation of executive privilege in the Monica Lewinsky inquiry, House Majority Leader Dick Armey said: “It doesn’t pass the _______ test.”
“Jiggy.”–Jon Hotchkiss
“The milk squirting out of John Sirica’s nose test.”–Dan Simon
“The insane enough for Dick Armey to believe in test.”–Fred Graver (Colleen Werthmann had a similar answer.)
“The dick army test.”–Norman MacAfee
“The pap test.”–Marshall Efron (similarly, Gary Frazier)
“Scholastic Aptitude Test. And as a result it’ll go to community college, marry too young, drink too much, fight too much, divorce–and have you ever had to pay alimony off an associate’s degree?”–Beth Sherman
“Smelt test, named for the aroma that Richard Nixon excreted while sweating, meaning always.”–Larry Doyle (similarly, John Solomon)
Click for more responses.
Randy’s Wrap-Up
Is this the first time all four “winners” (if you’ll excuse the expression) of the “News Quiz” wept in their prize-winning performances? Sorry, that wasn’t the quiz; that was Helen Hunt, Kim Basinger, Jack Nicholson, and Robin Williams. See, they wept to convey powerful emotion, like sadness or something: That’s Best Acting. In 50 years, we’ve gone from “Top of the world, Ma!” to “King of the world!”–ample evidence of a nation that’s lost its way. Now more than ever we need the moral compass of a sardonic current events quiz. Wait, there’s something in my eye.
Answer
Speaking on Fox News Sunday, Armey said, “It doesn’t pass the smell test.”
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