By Randy Cohen
It "isn't just about dollars and cents. It's about winning wars and saving lives." What is? Says who?
by noon ET on Wednesday to e-mail your answers (NewsQuiz@slate.com).
Responses to Monday's question (No. 18)--"Test Test":
Fill in the blank.
Attacking President Clinton's evocation of executive privilege in the Monica Lewinsky inquiry, House Majority Leader Dick Armey said: "It doesn't pass the _______ test."
"The milk squirting out of John Sirica's nose test."--Dan Simon
"The insane enough for Dick Armey to believe in test."--Fred Graver (Colleen Werthmann had a similar answer.)
"The dick army test."--Norman MacAfee
"The pap test."--Marshall Efron (similarly, Gary Frazier)
"Scholastic Aptitude Test. And as a result it'll go to community college, marry too young, drink too much, fight too much, divorce--and have you ever had to pay alimony off an associate's degree?"--Beth Sherman
"Smelt test, named for the aroma that Richard Nixon excreted while sweating, meaning always."--Larry Doyle (similarly, John Solomon)
Click for more responses.
Is this the first time all four "winners" (if you'll excuse the expression) of the "News Quiz" wept in their prize-winning performances? Sorry, that wasn't the quiz; that was Helen Hunt, Kim Basinger, Jack Nicholson, and Robin Williams. See, they wept to convey powerful emotion, like sadness or something: That's Best Acting. In 50 years, we've gone from "Top of the world, Ma!" to "King of the world!"--ample evidence of a nation that's lost its way. Now more than ever we need the moral compass of a sardonic current events quiz. Wait, there's something in my eye.
Speaking on Fox News Sunday, Armey said, "It doesn't pass the smell test."
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