No. 13: “Death Star”

No. 13: “Death Star”

No. 13: “Death Star”

Testing your knowledge of what happened this week
March 14 1998 3:30 AM

No. 13: “Death Star”

No. 13: "Death Star"

"News Quiz"?


The complex and dangerous News Quiz Renaming Operation is still underway. Some suggestions--"Don't Ask," "You Tell Me," and "Titanic." In other words, the betting windows are still open.

By Randy Cohen

Likely to pass within 30,000 miles of Earth on Oct. 26, 2028, Asteroid 1997 XF11 has been added to a list of 108 PHOs, "potentially hazardous objects." Can you name another?


by 5 p.m. ET on Sunday to e-mail your answers (


Responses to Wednesday's question (No. 12)--"Ten Towns":

Kroll Associates' top 10 are: Algiers, Bogotá, Caracas, Johannesburg, Karachi, Lagos, Medellín, Mexico City, Moscow, and Rio de Janeiro. Top 10 what?

"Answers given by American high-school seniors when asked to name the country Oklahoma is in."--Patty Marx

"Prospective sources of additional Democratic National Committee funds."--Kevin Bradshaw


"Cities for whose falling crime rates New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani is not taking credit."--Gloria D. Howard

"Names being considered by Lisa Kudrow for her new baby."--Jon Hotchkiss (Steven L. Smith had a similar answer)

"J. Crew sweater colors."--Colleen Werthmann

"Replacement cities on the studio's approved list for "We'll Always Have Paris" in Casablanca: 2000."--CharlieRubin


"Crappy names, each one worse than the last, for an operating system."--Chris Kelly

"Postings for ex-Ambassador Larry Lawrence now that he's finished his tour at Arlington National Cemetery."--SamCoppersmith

"Destinations for MTV's new Road Rules V: The Human Rights Tour. Watch the gang pick sugar cane in Rio, swallow condoms of coke in Bogota, spend a 90 hour week sewing Gap pocket T-shirts for gruel in Lagos."--BethSherman

"Planets Hollywood. In an independent diners' survey, these were voted as having the best food, service, and ambience of all the 13,789 P.H.s worldwide. Of particular note was the acquisition by the Lagos P.H. of recently deceased Sea Wolf star Lloyd Bridges' skeleton for display in the restaurant. 'We're busy boiling the flesh, muscle, and sinew off of his bones right now!' said a Planet Hollywood spokesman."--DavidRakoff


"Largest cities to have made it their official policy that 'Hostages Will Not Be Recognized for Bargaining Purposes.' "--BillFranzen

"Cities that Giuliani plans to 'Rudify' next. (In Medellín, for instance, discussions are underway on forcing the members of the cartel to become more courteous in their dealings. 'We want 2 fucking kilos' would, under Giuliani, become '2 kilos, please. And get that squeegee away from my windshield.')"--MegWolitzer

"Least likely locations for the 2000 Republican Convention."--John Solomon

"Places that feature 'Ladies Day EVERY Day!' "--Larry Amaros

"Proposed homes for NaziLand!"--Fred Graver

"Airports where you are likely to--permanently--lose your luggage. (Actually, since the source is Kroll Associates, they're probably places where corporate muckety-mucks and their loved ones run a high risk of being kidnapped.)"--M.G. Lord

"Of all the towns in all the world, they are the Top 10 that make whatever problems you might have look like a hill of beans. Unless your problem is that you have a couple of million street urchins wandering around your apartment. In which case, I stand corrected."--Nancy Franklin

Randy's Wrap-Up:

This was a tricky question because, like many of you, I prefer my humor vicious. However, the target of humor should not be the weak and afflicted; it should be New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. Sorry: It should be the powerful and wicked. (Not just NYCMRG.) The question isn't if humor attacks; it's whom it attacks and why. And damn it, I'm just so darn proud of you participants I could ... wait, there's something in my eye ...

Incidentally, the tart and amusing reply from Gloria D. Howard included the notification that it was "Prepared by IBM Attorney." In my experience, that's pretty much a guarantee of something very, very funny; this was no exception.

Hazardous to Executives Trolling for Cheap Labor Answer:

As M.G. Lord and many others realized, these are the most dangerous cities for business travelers, according to Kroll Associates, a New York corporate consulting firm.

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