By Randy Cohen
According to research at the University of Washington, what does this list indicate: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling?
(Hint: nothing to do with inscriptions at Nixon library.)
by noon ET on Thursday to e-mail your answer (NewsQuiz@slate.com).
Responses to Tuesday’s Question (No. 3)–“Way Out”:
I give the answer; you give the question and identify the speaker: “Well, I think it’s obvious that I haven’t looked for a way out here; what I’ve looked for is a way forward.”
“A sperm, about to fertilize an egg (interviewed by Cindy Adams for the E! Channel, through the miracle technology of ConceptoCam). The sperm, which belongs to Ethan Hawke and was headed right for Uma Thurman, was asked about its intentions.”–Meg Wolitzer
“Saddam Hussein and Kofi Annan trying to find their way out of the Baghdad multiplex after a special screening of Air Force One.” (“Laughed ‘til I cried! raved Saddam.)”–Beth Sherman
” ‘Have you seen the exit sign?’ Pat Buchanan to Newt Gingrich; at the time, both both were trapped up Strom Thurmond’s ***.”–Jon Hotchkiss
“Former Mir cosmonaut explaining how his jeep ended up in Boris Yeltsin’s swimming pool during routine military exercises.”–Patty Marx
“Sometimes the right thing to do is to give the wrong answer, and because I feel that Diane Zamora got shortchanged on her 15 minutes of fame (she took a licking but didn’t go on ticking), I’m going to assert boldly that she was the speaker, even though the wording of the answer bespeaks oily, lawyerly Beltwayism, and anyone who doesn’t like it can take a drive with me to a barren field and I’ll show them something they won’t soon forget. So the question would be, ‘Diane, even the most casual watcher of Court TV couldn’t help thinking that your little Shannon Doherty-size brain was working overtime trying to find a way out of taking responsibility for your part in the murder of Adrianne Jones. Isn’t that true? ISN’T THAT TRUE, DIANE?’ “–Nancy Franklin
Randy’s Wrap-Up:
Ask an in-and-out question, you’ll get a biological response. (I believe the previous sentence can be heard verbatim on the Linda Tripp tapes.) Note to Meg Wolitzer: I hope nobody had to buy that egg. According to the New York Times, the St. Barnabas Medical Center now pays donors $5,000 for what is vividly called “a month’s worth,” 20 times what the New Jersey fertility clinic paid for eggs 14 years ago. Perhaps this is why Alan Greenspan yesterday cautioned Congress against “complacency about inflation prospects.”
Incidentally, sperm donors receive only $100, writes reporter Gina Kolata, because the process is “easy and risk-free.” Go ahead and make up your own joke. Feel free to include the enigmatic Fed chairman in the punch line.
“Way Out” Official-Transcript Answer:
At a news conference Monday about the deal Kofi Annan brokered with Iraq, a reporter addressed President Clinton:
Q: Is there any wiggle room in this agreement? Because even before you spoke, some of your critics predicted that you would buy an agreement that was not airtight simply as a way out.
A: Well, I think it’s obvious that I haven’t looked for a way out here; what I’ve looked for is a way forward.
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