Who Is the Republican National Convention’s Mystery Guest?

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
Aug. 30 2012 1:12 PM

Who Is the Republican National Convention’s Mystery Guest?

Our best guesses.

Clint Eastwood
Will Clint Eastwood be the GOP convention's mystery guest?

Photo by PAUL J. RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images


Will Clint Eastwood make the Republicans’ day? Or maybe Sarah Palin? Rush Limbaugh, perhaps? The political chatter around the Republican convention has once again turned to a Romney pick – with delegates and reporters alike wondering who the campaign has tapped to be the mystery guest at Thursday night’s finale.
—Joseph Weber, FoxNews.com, Aug. 29, 2012

INTERNAL RNC MEMORANDUM—DO NOT DISTRIBUTE

Here’s our final list of potential guest speakers for the last day of the convention. Let’s work our way down—the ones at the top are the most desirable, the ones at the bottom the least.

Clint Eastwood

Nancy Reagan

The Navy SEAL who killed Bin Laden

Sarah Palin

Ronald Reagan hologram

Ludwig von Mises hologram

Charlton Heston hologram

Dr. Zaius hologram

Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln

Philip Seymour Hoffman as Abraham Lincoln

Zac Efron as Abraham Lincoln

Zac Efron as Herman Cain

Tim Tebow

Reagan hologram, Tebowing

Jefferson Starship performing “We Built This City”

Jefferson Starship performing "Light the Sky on Fire" from The Star Wars Holiday Special

Paul Ryan performing "Stairway to Heaven" with AC/DC-Led Zeppelin super-group

The cast of the Book of Mormon

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir performing Jefferson Starship’s “We Built This City”

John Galt (anyone have contact info?)

Seamus hologram enjoying a ride atop a hologram of the Romney station wagon

Reagan hologram teaches Mitt Romney to Dougie

Reagan hologram and Romney re-enact the pottery scene from Ghost

Rush Limbaugh

Josh Levin is Slate's executive editor.

John Swansburg is Slate's deputy editor.

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