Will Clint Eastwood make the Republicans’ day? Or maybe Sarah Palin? Rush Limbaugh, perhaps? The political chatter around the Republican convention has once again turned to a Romney pick – with delegates and reporters alike wondering who the campaign has tapped to be the mystery guest at Thursday night’s finale.
—Joseph Weber, FoxNews.com, Aug. 29, 2012
INTERNAL RNC MEMORANDUM—DO NOT DISTRIBUTE
Here’s our final list of potential guest speakers for the last day of the convention. Let’s work our way down—the ones at the top are the most desirable, the ones at the bottom the least.
The Navy SEAL who killed Bin Laden
Ronald Reagan hologram
Ludwig von Mises hologram
Charlton Heston hologram
Dr. Zaius hologram
Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln
Philip Seymour Hoffman as Abraham Lincoln
Zac Efron as Abraham Lincoln
Zac Efron as Herman Cain
Reagan hologram, Tebowing
Jefferson Starship performing “We Built This City”
Jefferson Starship performing "Light the Sky on Fire" from The Star Wars Holiday Special
Paul Ryan performing "Stairway to Heaven" with AC/DC-Led Zeppelin super-group
The cast of the Book of Mormon
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir performing Jefferson Starship’s “We Built This City”
John Galt (anyone have contact info?)
Seamus hologram enjoying a ride atop a hologram of the Romney station wagon
Reagan hologram teaches Mitt Romney to Dougie
Reagan hologram and Romney re-enact the pottery scene from Ghost
TODAY IN SLATE
Scalia’s Liberal Streak
The conservative justice’s most brilliant—and surprisingly progressive—moments on the bench.
Colorado Is Ground Zero for the Fight Over Female Voters
There’s a Way to Keep Ex-Cons Out of Prison That Pays for Itself. Why Don’t More States Use It?
The NFL Explains How It Sees “the Role of the Female”
The Music Industry Is Ignoring Some of the Best Black Women Singing R&B
Theo’s Joint and Vanessa’s Whiskey
No sitcom did the “Very Special Episode” as well as The Cosby Show.
The Other Huxtable Effect
Thirty years ago, The Cosby Show gave us one of TV’s great feminists.