Bankers Evicted From Nation’s Economy: The Mayor’s Statement

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
Nov. 16 2011 8:15 PM

Bankers Evicted From Nation’s Economy

The mayor’s statement.

Zuccotti Park, a day after it was cleared of Occupy Wall Street protesters
Zuccotti Park, a day after it was cleared of Occupy Wall Street protesters in an early morning police raid on November 16, 2011 in New York city.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images

STATEMENT FROM THE MAYOR

At 1 o’clock this morning, on my orders, the New York City Police Department and Department of Sanitation removed the bankers from the U.S. economy.

The Constitution that created the economy requires that it be open to the public for the pursuit of their livelihood 24 hours a day. Ever since the occupation began, that law has not been complied with, as the economy has been taken over by bankers, making it unavailable to anyone else. 

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Inaction was not an option. The bankers had occupied the economy for well over a decade. It had become covered in collateralized debt obligations, credit default swaps, derivatives of derivatives, and other cumbersome financial instruments, making it next to impossible to navigate for the public–and for the regulators who are responsible for guaranteeing the public’s safety. The dangers posed were evident in an incident in 2008 in which bankers crashed the economy, doubled unemployment, reduced household wealth by trillions of dollars, threw millions of Americans out of their homes, widened the gap between rich and poor, and triggered the worst global downturn since the Great Depression. While this may have been an isolated incident, I became increasingly concerned that the occupation might come to pose a hazard. Make no mistake—the decision to act was mine.

No right is absolute and with every right comes responsibilities. The Constitution gives every American the right to pursue wealth, but it does not give anyone the right to take over the economy to the exclusion of others—nor does it permit anyone in our society to live outside the law.

During the operation this morning, the bankers were told that they could return to the economy after it had been thoroughly cleaned, which it has not been since the 1930s. They were informed, however, that they could not bring their exotic financial instruments with them. As for instruments removed today by the Sanitation Department, these are being held at the Manhattan District 7 Garage on West 56th Street between 11th and 12th Avenues and may be recovered on presentation of proof of ownership and a valid bank debit card. 

Thank you.

Evan Eisenberg's essays and satire have appeared in The New Yorker, the Atlantic, and other publications. His books includeThe Recording Angel andThe Ecology of Eden.

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