In his book Sad Monsters, Colbert Report writer Frank Lesser explores "monsters who are sad, misunderstood, discouraged, lonely, and in many cases demonized, particularly the demons." Lesser's 39 essays include two that originally appeared in Slate, " The Yeti Wears Prada" and " How To Find the Genie of Your Dreams." In the piece excerpted below, he delves into the secret world of unicorns. Read more at sadmonsters.com.
So the next time your boyfriend tries to get you to "go all the way," tell him you don't want to "horse" around, because you'd rather get "horn-y" with your platonic unicorn. Then be sure to tell your unicorn what you said. They love puns, and every time a unicorn laughs, an angel has tender sexual intercourse on her wedding night. And nine months later, a rainbow is born!