Shield your eyes, children. A fortnight after emerging on the cultural scene, a 42-page PowerPoint presentation—"An Education Beyond the Classroom: Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics" more pungently known as the Duke Fuck List—continues to captivate the minds and loins of a grateful nation. Despite my dogged attempts to be scandalized by its text, I've succeeded only in being mildly titillated and with good reason. After all, bros and biddies at every university in the land, undergrads and graduate students alike, have long composed such jokey tales of conquest (except at the University of Chicago, where students do not fornicate).
I sent a few e-mails to eager college newspaper editors and assorted friends, which yielded the following slides from their respective schools:
TODAY IN SLATE
The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola
The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.
I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.
Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.
Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore
And schools are getting worried.
Two Damn Good, Very Different Movies About Soldiers Returning From War
Lifetime Didn’t Think the Steubenville Rape Case Was Dramatic Enough
So they added a little self-immolation.
Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem
Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology.