Twitter feeds other than $#*! My Dad Saysthat would make for excellent primetime programming.

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
Sept. 22 2010 3:57 PM

$#*! @SenJeffMerkley Says

Other Twitter feeds that would make excellent primetime programs.

$#*! My Dad Says. Click image to expand.
$#*! My Dad Says, the CBS show inspired by a Twitter feed

$#*! @SenJeffMerkley Says
Zac Efron plays a recent grad who moves back in with his father, Oregon junior Sen. Jeff Merkley, a maverick politician who uses social media to bring his cantankerous messages ("If you're in Central Oregon, catch Senator Merkley on KBNW AM 1340 this morning at 8:30am Pacific") directly to his constituents. Although his son tries to rein him in, nothing can stop the straight-talking Merkley from cutting D.C. down to size, one tweet at a time ("Read Senator Merkley's update on how the new breastfeeding law will impact nursing moms: http://ow.ly/1QJc5"). Also starring John Lithgow as Merkley's rival, @SenatorRonWyden.

The @SchuminWeb Files
Office manager. Transit enthusiast. World-class detective. Ben Schumin is the man to call when something's amiss with your D.C.-area morning commute. In this fall's hottest new suspense drama, the plodding, methodical Schumin will tackle unsolved mysteries ("No underground cell service from Glenmont station to halfway to Wheaton. What's wrong? #wmata"), investigate horrible crimes ("@FixWMATA Who do you think the thieves are? #wmata"), maintain the peace ("A kid is screaming on the train. Get this little noisemaker OFF MY TRAIN! #wmata"), and generally remain alert ("Note to self: Get off at Metro Center this morning. #wmata"). Co-starring William Shatner as X, the villainous head of the mysterious "#wmata" organization.

$#*! @JayFosterLaw Says
Fact: People love shows about lawyers. Fact: People will love $#*! @JayFosterLaw Says, based on a hard-charging personal injury lawyer in southern Mississippi with three ruling passions: judo, Saints football, and litigating auto accidents. Each week brings a new case for Foster to tackle, and although he's a bit of a showboat ("Mississippi Car Accident Lawyer Video | Jay Foster Law: http://bit.ly/9wfC2V  via @addthis"), he always gets results. Some cases involve strangers ("Car Wreck Kills Hancock County Resident | Jay Foster Law jayfosterlaw.com/blog/car-wreck…  via @AddThis"), some involve acquaintances ("James B. Walley Dies After Car Wreck | Jay Foster Law: http://bit.ly/as5yz2  via @addthis")—but with JayFosterLaw on the case, all of them are personal. With Kiefer Sutherland as James B. Walley.

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It's Always Sunny at @TacoTimeNW
If you like workplace comedies, or taco-related comedies, then you'll love It's Always Sunny at @TacoTimeNW, a new show about the hilarious misadventures of the employees at the Pacific Northwest's favorite fast-casual Mexican restaurant. Jon Cryer, Topher Grace, and Neil Patrick Harris star as the world's wackiest taco jockeys. Watch as they scheme to sell food in inclement weather ("Today is the last day for a FREE Cactus Cooler upgrade with any combo meal. The rain is coming down, so go get one!"), wittily banter about their off-the-clock exploits ("Hope you had a great Labor Day weekend! Did you do anything fun?"), and imagine fantastical battles royale between opposing foodstuffs ("Showdown time, what's your vote: Crisp Taco or Crisp Burrito?"). William Shatner co-stars as the voice of the restaurant's lovable anthropomorphic mascot, Ned the Cactus.

S#*! the @BritishMonarchy Says
Arrested Development meets Big Ben in this antic farce about a family of wealthy slackjaws who find themselves at the head of the world's sixth-largest economy. Although the country is mired in recession, these lovable dullards spend their days gallivanting across the globe ("On 9 Sep: The Earl of Wessex - will meet Canadian Volunteers at the Old School, Bakara in the Masai Mara, Kenya. http://www.royal.gov.uk/J") and popping corks at society picnics. Will Arnett stars as the prince of Wales, a jobless grifter whose hare-brained schemes ("The Prince of Wales is installing solar panels on the roof at Clarence House. What else is HRH doing? http://bit.ly/do1Cgq") and superfluous charity gestures ("The Prince of Wales donated a pair of his trousers to the M&S Oxfam Clothes Exchange as part of the START tour. http://twitpic.com/2lv0ly") are sure to leave you in stitches. It's a family comedy of royal proportions!

My Name is @FREDDURST
The critics will love this sensitively rendered drama in which an aging, unloved rock star wrestles with the futility of existence during a three-month tour of Europe. Over the course of 11 one-hour episodes, @FREDDURST battles loneliness ("I'm in the limpbizkit.com chat right now if you wanna say howdy"), confronts his own obsessive behaviors ("Can't stop moshing!! Everybody #MOSH"), and contemplates his own mortality ("Got tattooed all night Paris. Definitely feeling it this morning."). Co-starring William Shatner as "The Nookie."

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Justin Peters is a writer for Slate. He is working on a book about Aaron Swartz, copyright, and the rise of “free culture.” Email him at justintrevett@fastmail.fm.

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