Tea Party poems: The spoken verse of Sarah Palin.

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
May 25 2010 6:07 PM

Tea Party Poems

The found poetry of Sarah Palin.

Every time Sarah Palin speaks publicly—on Fox News, at Tea Party rallies, or just for the big paycheck—she manages to insert a few phrases that sound like nursery rhymes into her speech. The following have vaulted verbatim from Palin's tongue to the page. No words have been changed.

"That Mr. Klein Is No Pal of Mine"

What a piece of work
That Mr. Klein is!
For the piece
That he wrote, that is

Something else, you know
You would hope,
That the powers that
Be at a, quote, unquote,

"Reputable" organization
Like Time magazine
That they would hold
Their employee-e-e—

And I assume that
Mr. Klein gets paid
For the columns that
He writes—that they

Would hold their employee
@@@@ACCOUNTABLE!

"Energy Destiny"

Great destiny, our destiny!
To be reached by—responsibly!
Developing our natural resources, this land,
Blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, and:
Oil and gas! It's energy!

GOD GAVE US ENERGY!

"Governor Jan Brewer Had It To Do, Too"

To help protect the citizens
Of her state she had to do
What the federal government
Has refused to do!

And that is help secure the borders;
I think it's shameful, too,
That the Obama administration
Has allowed, too, this, too!

"Blue Dog Peekaboo"

Blue-dog Democrats
Peeking under the tent.
You know …

@@@@and finding out,
WHAT IS THIS MOVEMENT ALL ABOUT?

And Holy Geez! I'm scared!

"Signs"

I.

Signs we read out there in the rallies.
One of them I saw yesterday
Said, "I can see freedom from my house."
I think they were quoting Tina Fey.

II.

Usually, if there's a bad poster out there,
I pretend I don't even see it; but yesterday
I could not miss it; they were these life-size
pictures of naked people. I was like, OK …

"On- and Offshore"

There are hundreds of trillions more
undiscovered both on shore and offshore.
Just piles of energy in that part
of North America that again
can be tapped responsibly
@@@@and make us all secure!

"Prayer Before Debating Joe Biden"

I.

I said, "Piper, 'kay,
I'm going out onstage.
I'm debatin' this guy,
it's going to be kind
of tough," I said. "SO PRAY!"

II.

I said, "Piper, just pray
that I win, 'cause you know,
why not, just pray that
I do well—and, oh!,

Man, try and keep it
easy," I said. "JUST PRAY!"

"Ode to Hamilton"

To help other people
@@@@and, um,
It's wonderful to be in
@@@@Hamilton.
I got to go—
@@@@for a run.

"In the Arena for Carly Fiorina"

I.

Contested primaries! So I'm glad to see
The contest in California's GOP.
But I support Carly! ... As she
Fights through a tough primary
Against a liberal member of the GOP!

II.

We have a real chance
Of putting an end to
The Pelosi/Reid big
Government agenda!

"I'm Sick and Tired"

I'm sick and tired
@@@@of hearing about
Obama and the White House
@@@@coming out

WITH YET ANOTHER CRISIS!

"No Flow"

I.

To just hunker down
And go with the flow?
Nah, only dead fish
Go with the flow. NO!

II.

There is such a need
To build up and fight!
For our state and our country.
I choose to FIGHT.

III.

I will support you
Because we need you,
And you can effect change,
And I can, TOO!

"On Rand Paul"

A bit of a libertarian,
But, you know,
Heaven forbid
That we go

The opposite direction
Of a libertarian
And what they
Are believing in!

"On Mark Critz"

A Democrat, he won!
He was pro-life, pro-gun!
Anti-Obamacare,
And he won there!
In a district where
Democrats outnumber Republicans—two to one!

"It's Not About Me"

You know, this is not about me.
But I do appreciate the
Platform that I've been given,
The opportunities that I have to be

Out there speaking to these
Good, hard-working, average, everyday,
Patriotic Americans who want to see
The positive change in our country.

Like  Slate on Facebook. Follow us on  Twitter.

Hart Seely's memoir as a Yankee fan, The Juju Rules, will be published next year.

TODAY IN SLATE

The World

The Budget Disaster that Sabotaged the WHO’s Response to Ebola

Are the Attacks in Canada a Sign of ISIS on the Rise in the West?

PowerPoint Is the Worst, and Now It’s the Latest Way to Hack Into Your Computer

Is It Offensive When Kids Use Bad Words for Good Causes?

Fascinating Maps Based on Reddit, Craigslist, and OkCupid Data

Culturebox

The Real Secret of Serial

What reporter Sarah Koenig actually believes.

Culturebox

The Actual World

“Mount Thoreau” and the naming of things in the wilderness.

In Praise of 13th Grade: Why a Fifth Year of High School Is a Great Idea

Can Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu Pull Off One More Louisiana Miracle?

  News & Politics
Foreigners
Oct. 23 2014 3:47 PM Ukraine’s Slow Descent Into Madness While it fights rebels in the east, Kiev is beginning to crumble from the inside.
  Business
Business Insider
Oct. 23 2014 2:36 PM Take a Rare Peek Inside the Massive Data Centers That Power Google
  Life
Atlas Obscura
Oct. 23 2014 1:34 PM Leave Me Be Beneath a Tree: Trunyan Cemetery in Bali
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 23 2014 11:33 AM Watch Little Princesses Curse for the Feminist Cause
  Slate Plus
Working
Oct. 23 2014 11:28 AM Slate’s Working Podcast: Episode 2 Transcript Read what David Plotz asked Dr. Meri Kolbrener about her workday.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 23 2014 3:23 PM This Is What Bette Midler Covering TLC’s “Waterfalls” Sounds Like
  Technology
Technology
Oct. 23 2014 11:45 AM The United States of Reddit  How social media is redrawing our borders. 
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Oct. 23 2014 7:30 AM Our Solar System and Galaxy … Seen by an Astronaut
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.