An exclusive preview of Elena Kagan's Supreme Court nomination questionnaire.
Social skills: Describe your relationship with Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy. Include method of address (e.g., "Justice Kennedy," "Anthony," "Tony," "AK-47") and any occasions on which you've persuaded him about anything, however trivial (e.g., lunch destination).
Health: Please note any ailments, mental or physical, that would prevent you from sitting in a room for 72 hours pretending to answer repetitive and superficial questions about your judicial philosophy and personal life—or those that would facilitate it.
Last chance: Is there anything else we should know?Fake identities? Illegitimate children? Crush videos? (It's come up.)
Practice test: What is your favorite color?
(Answer: I approach every color with an open mind.)
Christopher Beam is a writer living in Beijing.
Photograph of Elena Kagan by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.