Joslyn James' secret text messages to Tiger Woods.

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
March 18 2010 7:31 PM

That's What She Said

You've read Tiger Woods' text messages to Joslyn James. Here's the half of the conversation you haven't seen.

Porn star Joslyn James and pro golfer Tiger Woods.
Joslyn James and Tiger Woods

"Porn actress Joslyn James, who claims to have been Woods' 'full-time mistress,' posted on the Web Thursday a batch of sexually explicit text messages that the disgraced golfer hoped nobody would ever see."
New York Daily News, March 18. 2010

Josh Levin Josh Levin

Josh Levin is Slate's executive editor.

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Tiger: Sent: 05:46 PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.

Tiger: Sent: 05:52 PM 07/30/2009:
How close are you

Joslyn: Sent: 05:56 PM 07/30/2009:
Few mins away. U have the Super Bowl tickets 4 those cancer kids?

Tiger: Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i

Tiger: Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you

Joslyn: Sent: 06:11 PM 07/30/2009:
Make a Wish foundation surprise parties r the best!

Tiger: Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.

Joslyn: Sent: 06:22 PM 07/30/2009:
LOL :(Remember, yr doing it for the troops in afghnistn.

******

Tiger: Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after

Joslyn: Sent: 04:12 PM 07/31/2009:
You surprised how sweaty we got building houses 4 habitat 4 humanity?

Tiger: Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)

Tiger: Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry:)

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Joslyn: Sent: 04:32 PM 07/31/2009:
I know I know New Orleans wont rebuild itself

Tiger: Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I'm glad you came out

Joslyn: Sent: 06:06 PM 07/31/2009:
Me too. OK, going 2 feed those Vick pit bulls u rescued. Hope they don't bite my inner thighs this time.

Tiger: Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe

******

Joslyn: Sent: 04:02 PM 08/28/2009:
What would you say to Carlsbad Caverns if you were there right now?

Tiger: Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you

Joslyn: Sent: 04:12 PM 08/28/2009:
LOL. I love spelunking.

******

Tiger: Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad

Tiger: Sent: 03;29 PM 08/29/2009:
Now:)

Joslyn: Sent: 03:29 PM 08/29/2009:
OK, one set of Dr. Scholl's inserts coming right up. Heading out shopping.

Tiger: Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out

Joslyn: Sent: 03:31 PM 08/29/2009:
Oh, you like shopping too? The only trouble with strip malls is the walking. Do you know if there's a private jet service that can take me from store to store?

Tiger: Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore

Joslyn: Sent: 03:34 PM 08/29/2009:
LMAO! Think you mean soar. :)

Joslyn: Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
Want to come shopping with me some time?

Tiger: Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out

Joslyn: Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
OK, bring comfy shoes!

******

Tiger: Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls

Joslyn: Sent: 03:39 PM 08/29/2009:
Oh, yr asking about the book club? Anyone can join.

Tiger: Sent: 03:41 PM 08/29/2009:
You didnt answer the question

Joslyn: Sent: 03:42 PM 08/29/2009:
Yes Tiger there are other guys and girls in the book club.

Tiger: Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust

Joslyn: Sent: 03:45 PM 08/29/2009:
I keep telling you, there's nothing embarrassing about Eat Pray Love. We'll talk about it and drink cosmos!

Tiger: Sent: 03:48 PM 08/29/2009:
Does that excite you at all or no

Joslyn: Sent: 03:55 PM 08/29/2009:
Yeah, should be fun. Don't like E. Gilberts 2nd book tho. Overwritten.

******

Joslyn: Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
My screenplay really isn't coming together. Need some dialogue for the enraged donkey-owning farmer.

Tiger: Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Joslyn: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Wow, that's really great.

Tiger: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Joslyn: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Thx. U r so good at this!

******

Tiger: Sent: 04:53 PM 08/29/2009:
I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp

Joslyn: Sent: 04:55 PM 08/29/2009:
Pleeeeez let me play shortstop on our softball team. Nothing compares 2 turning a double play!

******

Tiger: Sent: 5:00 PM 08/29/2009:
I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around

Joslyn: Sent: 05:05 PM 08/29/2009:
Yeah, those torture memos were really messed up. Think its spelled "Yoo" tho.

******

Joslyn: Sent: 05:12 PM 08/29/2009:
Know you get intense about yr cooking but was hoping u and Elin might bring yr coq au vin to the potluck Sat? Just need main course.

Tiger: Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth

Tiger: Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me

Joslyn: Sent: 05:21 PM 08/29/2009:
You know I always love when you guys come over for dinner.

Joslyn: Sent: 05:22 PM 08/29/2009:
Oh, sorry to change subj. but what did you tell Nick Faldo before the 08 Ryder Cup again?

Tiger: Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy

Joslyn: Sent: 05:28 PM 08/29/2009:
Right. That was awesome!

******

Tiger: Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger: Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Joslyn: Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
No, I've had baby showers with silver, bronze, platinum decor. Never golden. Planning something for E?

Tiger: Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you

Joslyn: Sent: 01:31 PM 09/08/2009:
Ha ha, Almost. What about a karaoke party?

Tiger: Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:
Never done it. I think i would get stage freight

Joslyn: Sent: 01:36 PM 09/08/2009:
Come on, will let you borrow my karaoke machine!!

Tiger: Sent: 02:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Maybe

Joslyn: Sent: 02:58 PM 09/08/2009:
It's got Party in the USA …

Tiger: Sent: 03:38 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be over in 10mins

******

Tiger: Sent: 07:43 PM 09/09/2009:
Great thing is we have a life time of this

Joslyn: Sent: 09:41 PM 09/09/2009:
Getting Ben and Jerry's to pay yr endorsement fee in a lifetime supply of ice cream = best idea ever. Just remember no Chubby Hubby. U r allergic

Tiger: Sent: 05:44 AM 10/01/2009:
I know that. Thats why i wont do that.

Joslyn: Sent: 06:31 AM 10/01/2009:
Remember when you got the girl at Friendlys to give you a free sundae? What did u say 2 her?

Tiger: Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
Baby im not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I'm not losing that. You have to understand people love to tal

Tiger: Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
k about me. sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. I have learned to just roll with it no matter how much it upsets me when its not true. My life is a

Tiger: Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
fish bowl

Joslyn: Sent: 06:03 PM 09/09/2009:
LOL. Waitresses go for that every time!

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