Joslyn James' secret text messages to Tiger Woods.

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
March 18 2010 7:31 PM

That's What She Said

You've read Tiger Woods' text messages to Joslyn James. Here's the half of the conversation you haven't seen.

Porn star Joslyn James and pro golfer Tiger Woods.
Joslyn James and Tiger Woods

"Porn actress Joslyn James, who claims to have been Woods' 'full-time mistress,' posted on the Web Thursday a batch of sexually explicit text messages that the disgraced golfer hoped nobody would ever see."
New York Daily News, March 18. 2010

Josh Levin Josh Levin

Josh Levin is Slate's executive editor.

*

*

Tiger: Sent: 05:46 PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.

Tiger: Sent: 05:52 PM 07/30/2009:
How close are you

Joslyn: Sent: 05:56 PM 07/30/2009:
Few mins away. U have the Super Bowl tickets 4 those cancer kids?

Tiger: Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i

Tiger: Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you

Joslyn: Sent: 06:11 PM 07/30/2009:
Make a Wish foundation surprise parties r the best!

Tiger: Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.

Joslyn: Sent: 06:22 PM 07/30/2009:
LOL :(Remember, yr doing it for the troops in afghnistn.

******

Tiger: Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after

Joslyn: Sent: 04:12 PM 07/31/2009:
You surprised how sweaty we got building houses 4 habitat 4 humanity?

Tiger: Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)

Tiger: Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry:)

Advertisement

Joslyn: Sent: 04:32 PM 07/31/2009:
I know I know New Orleans wont rebuild itself

Tiger: Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I'm glad you came out

Joslyn: Sent: 06:06 PM 07/31/2009:
Me too. OK, going 2 feed those Vick pit bulls u rescued. Hope they don't bite my inner thighs this time.

Tiger: Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe

******

Joslyn: Sent: 04:02 PM 08/28/2009:
What would you say to Carlsbad Caverns if you were there right now?

Tiger: Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you

Joslyn: Sent: 04:12 PM 08/28/2009:
LOL. I love spelunking.

******

Tiger: Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad

Tiger: Sent: 03;29 PM 08/29/2009:
Now:)

Joslyn: Sent: 03:29 PM 08/29/2009:
OK, one set of Dr. Scholl's inserts coming right up. Heading out shopping.

Tiger: Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out

Joslyn: Sent: 03:31 PM 08/29/2009:
Oh, you like shopping too? The only trouble with strip malls is the walking. Do you know if there's a private jet service that can take me from store to store?

Tiger: Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore

Joslyn: Sent: 03:34 PM 08/29/2009:
LMAO! Think you mean soar. :)

Joslyn: Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
Want to come shopping with me some time?

Tiger: Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out

Joslyn: Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
OK, bring comfy shoes!

******

Tiger: Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls

Joslyn: Sent: 03:39 PM 08/29/2009:
Oh, yr asking about the book club? Anyone can join.

Tiger: Sent: 03:41 PM 08/29/2009:
You didnt answer the question

Joslyn: Sent: 03:42 PM 08/29/2009:
Yes Tiger there are other guys and girls in the book club.

Tiger: Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust

Joslyn: Sent: 03:45 PM 08/29/2009:
I keep telling you, there's nothing embarrassing about Eat Pray Love. We'll talk about it and drink cosmos!

Tiger: Sent: 03:48 PM 08/29/2009:
Does that excite you at all or no

Joslyn: Sent: 03:55 PM 08/29/2009:
Yeah, should be fun. Don't like E. Gilberts 2nd book tho. Overwritten.

******

Joslyn: Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
My screenplay really isn't coming together. Need some dialogue for the enraged donkey-owning farmer.

Tiger: Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Joslyn: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Wow, that's really great.

Tiger: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Joslyn: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Thx. U r so good at this!

******

Tiger: Sent: 04:53 PM 08/29/2009:
I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem

Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology. 

I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Lifetime Didn’t Think the Steubenville Rape Case Was Dramatic Enough

So they added a little self-immolation.

Two Damn Good, Very Different Movies About Soldiers Returning From War

Medical Examiner

The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola 

The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.

Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore, and Schools Are Getting Worried

The Good Wife Is Cynical, Thrilling, and Grown-Up. It’s Also TV’s Best Drama.

  News & Politics
Weigel
Sept. 20 2014 11:13 AM -30-
  Business
Business Insider
Sept. 20 2014 6:30 AM The Man Making Bill Gates Richer
  Life
Quora
Sept. 20 2014 7:27 AM How Do Plants Grow Aboard the International Space Station?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 19 2014 4:58 PM Steubenville Gets the Lifetime Treatment (And a Cheerleader Erupts Into Flames)
  Slate Plus
Slate Picks
Sept. 19 2014 12:00 PM What Happened at Slate This Week? The Slatest editor tells us to read well-informed skepticism, media criticism, and more.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Sept. 19 2014 4:48 PM You Should Be Listening to Sbtrkt
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 19 2014 6:31 PM The One Big Problem With the Enormous New iPhone
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 20 2014 7:00 AM The Shaggy Sun
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.