The Disgraced-Public-Figure Holiday Form Letter
How Mark Sanford, Tiger Woods, and other people who've been embarrassed this year should handle their Christmas correspondence.
[Close on a warm note, even if—face it—you may never hear from these people again.]
So here's to you and yours! I know things will get better. If I've learned anything, it's that time flies when you're (on house arrest in a Swiss chalet/dating Kate Hudson/sentenced to 150 years in prison). And it could be worse! At least I'm not (Tiger, Blago, Kanye, Gov. Sanford, A-Rod, Jon or Kate, a Madoff, John Edwards, Whitney Houston—yes, she had a comeback, but aren't you still glad you're not Whitney Houston?).
Have a wonderful 2010, and remember to hold tight the ones you love, preferably those who still live in your house.
Warm regards from your,
Disgraced Public Figure
Sarah Schmelling is the author ofOphelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs On to Facebook.