Excerpts from the former vice president's forthcoming memoir.

In his first interview since leaving public office, former Vice President Dick Cheney told Politico last week that he's ready to start writing his memoirs. Slate has obtained the following excerpts from an early draft.

I'll never forget the anguish in his voice. "You have no choice, son," he said. "You've simply got to take that military deferment." I felt punched in the gut. "No!" I shouted. "No, damn you! No! That's the fifth time you've done this to me!"

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Without telling anyone, Nixon and I had worked up a little routine. I asked, "Who is the Vietnamese foreign minister?" Immediately, he chimed in, "No, Woo is on first!" The whole room cracked up. Kissinger had to take a pill.

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"Let me get this straight," I said. "I choose your running mate?" George gave a wide grin. "You got it, Chief," he said. "Freddie Thompson, Newt, Lugar—heck, even Old Man McCain. You name him, and I'll go with him. Will you do it?"

I felt a shiver rise up my spine. "I'm very busy these days," I said. "But I'll consider it."

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Throughout the president's colonoscopy, I stayed cool as a cucumber.

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