1. Returns to Vietnam and jails himself. 2. Offers the post of "vice vice president" to Warren Buffett. 3. Challenges Obama to suspend campaign so they both can go and personally drill for oil offshore. 4. Learns to use computer. 5. Does bombing run over Taliban-controlled tribal areas of Pakistan. 6. Offers to forgo salary, sell one house. 7. Sex-change operation. 8. Suspends campaign until Nov. 4, offers to start being president right now. 9. Sells Alaska to Russia for $700 billion. 10. Pledges to serve only one term. OK, half a term.
Do you have an idea for McCain's next campaign stunt? Send it to us at NextMcCainStunt@gmail.com, and we will publish the best ideas. E-mails may be quoted by name unless you indicate otherwise.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Ebola Story
How our minds build narratives out of disaster.
The Budget Disaster That Completely Sabotaged the WHO’s Response to Ebola
PowerPoint Is the Worst, and Now It’s the Latest Way to Hack Into Your Computer
The Shooting Tragedies That Forged Canada’s Gun Politics
A Highly Unscientific Ranking of Crazy-Old German Beers
Welcome to 13th Grade!
Some high schools are offering a fifth year. That’s a great idea.
The Actual World
“Mount Thoreau” and the naming of things in the wilderness.