1. Returns to Vietnam and jails himself. 2. Offers the post of "vice vice president" to Warren Buffett. 3. Challenges Obama to suspend campaign so they both can go and personally drill for oil offshore. 4. Learns to use computer. 5. Does bombing run over Taliban-controlled tribal areas of Pakistan. 6. Offers to forgo salary, sell one house. 7. Sex-change operation. 8. Suspends campaign until Nov. 4, offers to start being president right now. 9. Sells Alaska to Russia for $700 billion. 10. Pledges to serve only one term. OK, half a term.
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