Dirty phone tricks for the presidential campaign.

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
April 14 2008 12:34 PM

Dirty Phone Tricks for the Presidential Campaign

Beware, some callers have hidden agendas.

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Hello there, I'm calling from the Republican National Committee in Washington, D.C. This call, like all your phone calls, is being monitored, not just for quality control but to learn what you're up to …

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Hello, I'm calling on behalf of Senator Hillary Clinton, the most experienced candidate running for president. As you know, Hillary has overcome terrible tragedies and … (sniff) … sorry … forgive me … I just get emotional whenever I think of what he did to her …

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Hello? Hello? I'm calling from Septuagenarians for John McCain, and we're hoping that you'll support our … hello? Hello? I think I did something wrong again. Hello? I touched something, and the screen changed. Hello?

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Hello! I'm calling for Senator Barack Hussein Obama who—praise be to Allah!—shall bring the sword of justice to the infidels as our next president.

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Hello, this is Dick Cheney. I'm talking to you from a secure bunker deep within the earth. Through a blend of science and the dark, mystical arts, I have transferred my brain into pure energy, and I am speaking to you now, mentally, though it may seem like it's coming through the phone…

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