How would Chris Matthews sound if he talked to men like he talks to women?
To Fred Thompson: Before we hit the immigration issue, Mr. Thompson, let me just say that the TV camera doesn't do you justice. I can see how you score with the young ladies. Uh-oh! He's giving me that fire-in-the-eyes thing. I'm getting prosecuted, and I plead guilty. I love it!
To Dennis Kucinich: Congressman, did you know that when you got married, you broke my heart? You broke a lot of hearts. And I'm not just talking lefty hearts. I'm talking banker hearts. I'm talking CEO hearts. We may consider you a niche candidate, but you, sir, are mainstream hot.
To Hillary Clinton: Thanks for coming, Madam Senator. Before we get to national policy, let's talk about your husband. Do you have any photos of Bill you could share with me?
Hart Seely's memoir as a Yankee fan, The Juju Rules, will be published next year.
Photograph of Chris Matthews by NBC News.