The creatures of Dr. Frankenbush.

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
Oct. 18 2004 3:59 PM

The Scream

Or, the creatures of Dr. Frankenbush.

(Continued from Page 3)

It was my assistant Karl, notable as much for his roving or wandering left eye (the result, in the opinion of a Berlin ophthalmologist, of following poll numbers while engaged in other activities), as for his hunchback and lame right leg, who found the solution. Dragging from the shelves of my laboratory a forgotten volume from my student days in Ingolstadt, he opened it to a gravure plate of the notorious work of the Norwegian painter Munch.

"If heard screams, Master, are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter," said he, "a close-mouthed scream must needs be the sweetest, most terrifying of all."

"Do you mean—" I whispered—

"Yes, Master!" cried he. "Let us but inject the power of The Scream into The Man of No Face, and no force on Earth shall prevail against us!"

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August 23, 2004

To transfer a portion of convolute tissue from one cranium to another, and with it the corresponding mental powers, is no mean undertaking; yet it pales before that which I have now accomplished. For I have taken the power of Art and, by transplanting it into Life, multiplied it a thousandfold!

The masterwork, purloined by our agents, arrived at my laboratory betimes; and the Galvanic apparatus, which I conceived and constructed for this task, performed most excellently.

With pride and shame inextricably mingled, I must confess, that as Mr. C— regained consciousness; as the silent power of the Scream, refracted and magnified by the lens of his closed and rigid mouth, burst like a Hurrican into the cavernous space; I myself, the creator of this supernatural power, fled in abject terror before it!

August 30, 2004

The nominating convention of the ruling party begins this morning. I have every confidence of our success.

Evan Eisenberg's essays and satire have appeared in The New Yorker, the Atlantic, and other publications. His books includeThe Recording Angel andThe Ecology of Eden.

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