Have You Heard the Good News?Iran isn't a threat, the stem cell debate is over, and the AIDS epidemic is slowing. What's next?
Picket LinesTV writers script their upcoming strike.
Happy Belated Birthday, Jean-Claude Van Damme!In his 47th year, the actor prepares to unleash his greatest performance yet.
Save the (Celebrity) Children!African family adopts Britney's kids.
Dear LindsayThe greeting cards disgraced celebrities send one another.
Craft the Vote!Winning the presidency with a Bedazzler and a crochet hook.
Senator, Here's the Scenario …The hypothetical questions they should ask at the presidential debates.
Thou Shalt Not Disrespect Top Chef 3.The Vatican expands its Ten Commandment franchise.
PadillapaloozaTest your knowledge of the Jose Padilla trial.
Nine Other Oaths Karl Rove Could SwearHe doesn't want to tell "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" to Congress. Here are some alternatives.
NASA Astronaut Screening TestRevised and updated.
Wiki-ParentingHow babies invented community-based collaborative authorship.
The G.W. Bush Severance PackageHis stock is falling. He has lost the confidence of shareholders. So how much would it take to make him go away?
Drugstore Shopping SpreeSlate's guide to last-minute, low-budget gift giving.
Stay the CourseThe press conference Bush wanted to give.
Yes, This Is Your Grandfather's FordThe Ford Lauderdale, the Volvo Vermont, and other car names that actually make sense.
FEMA, You're Doing a Heck of a JobQuestions for the agency's future fake news conferences.
Hello, Dalai!Excerpts from George W. Bush's conversations with the Dalai Lama.
Noon: Lunch With Noam ChomskyThe original requested U.S. travel itinerary for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Yesterday's PrimaryCampaign season is off to an extremely early start.
Worst Sports Week EverDogfighting, point-shaving, blood doping. It couldn't get any worse, could it?
The Vatican's Product RecallDefects found in Protestant and Eastern Orthodox sects.
How Harry Potter Really EndsThe final scene, revealed!
No ExitOne man's desperate attempt to quit the Los Angeles Times.
SCOTUS-gateWhat if Alberto Gonzales and Harriet Miers had been confirmed to the Supreme Court?
Are You a Liberal Anti-Semite?Take this quiz and find out.
Here We Go AgainA projected timeline of the Prince William and Kate Middleton courtship.
Do I Dare Disturb Kuwait?Beneath Saddam Hussein's mask hid the soul of a poet.
It's a Wonderful PresidencyAn American classic, revisited.
Writing DirtySlate Quiz: Match the porn with the politician who wrote it.