Budget Inception"We can implant it for you, wholesale."
I Hate Him, Hate Him, Hate Him, Hate HimThe first draft of Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert's open letter upon LeBron James' departure to Miami.
Tea Party PoemsThe found poetry of Sarah Palin.
The Founding MothersAn ode to my matriarchs, every last one.
That's What She SaidYou've read Tiger Woods' text messages to Joslyn James. Here's the half of the conversation you haven't seen.
Hot StuffThe results from Slate's Google Trends contest.
The iState of the UnionSteve Jobs delivers the annual presidential address.
Tiger Woods' Facebook FeedIt's complicated.
I Enjoy a Good TweetThe cast of Seinfeld expounds on the latest Internet phenomenon.
The Yeti Wears PradaThe Abominable Snowman applies to be an editorial assistant at Vogue.
Investigate the Investigators!Let's look into these unpatriotic Americans who want to prosecute patriotic Americans.
Rubbing Him the Right WayHow to find the genie of your dreams—and keep him coming back for more.
Behold the Power of MichelleWhy are there so many powerful Michelles in Washington?
Election Day's Nine Worst Press ReleasesLa Fresh Travel Towelettes and other products no reporter wants to hear about today.
The Barack Obama Crank-Call GeneratorSlate's presidential election soundboards.
God Is Great. Inspire Is Not.Tips for al-Qaida's lame new magazine.
The Only Politics Article You'll Ever Have To Read What if political scientists covered the news?
Question TimeAn exclusive preview of Elena Kagan's Supreme Court nomination questionnaire.
Sarah Palin's PlaygroundIf only all political issues were debated in the language of childhood.
Web EditorHey, Charlotte, about that thing you wrote last night …
The Ultimate Trend StoryEnter Slate's Google Trends reader contest.
The Disgraced-Public-Figure Holiday Form LetterHow Mark Sanford, Tiger Woods, and other people who've been embarrassed this year should handle their Christmas correspondence.
Fifty-One Gravies To Please Your ManChez Cosmo, Slate's Plates, and seven more restaurants based on magazines. Plus, a reader contest to create your own magazine eatery.
The Dan Brown Sequel GeneratorPlug in a city and a sect, and our computer will do the rest.
It's a Hitter's BallparkLiveblogging Opening Day at the new Yankee Stadium.
Roget in LoveWhat happens when there are too many ways to say "I love you."
Dick Cheney RemembersExcerpts from the former vice president's forthcoming memoir.
Dear President ObamaThere are a couple of embarrassing e-mails from my past that I think you should know about.
How Hillary WonAnd other unwritten campaign victory stories.
His First Name Isn't Joe. He's Not a Licensed Plumber.What else is "Joe the Plumber" hiding from the American people?