The senator's caveats and curlicues.

Since 2000, Slate has poked fun at George W. Bush for his torture—some say it's merely abuse—of the English language. Our "Bushisms" collection captures (as Editor Jacob Weisberg explains in his latest volume) the president's ignorance, incuriosity, laziness, and thoughtlessness expressed in frequent gaffes. Now that Democrats have settled on a presumptive presidential nominee, it's time to cast an equally cold eye on the pomposity and evasiveness of John Kerry.

Here's how to read a Kerryism. The text below is Kerry's quote translated into plain English. Kerry's actual quote, however, is full of caveats and pointless embellishments. To read these, click the numbers above the text, which will take you to the caveats and embellishments, presented as footnotes. (Words in brackets before a number are what a normal person would have substituted for the ornate phrase Kerry delivered. To see the ornate phrase, click the number and read the footnote.) To return to the main text, click the number at the beginning of any footnote. To see the whole quote as Kerry delivered it, with all the caveats and embellishments, click here. To get back to this Kerryism, click "Return to English version."

Today's Kerryism:

"Let me just say ¹ that the ² abuse of Iraqi prisoners ³ is ⁴ unacceptable ⁵. And the response of the administration ⁶ has been slow ⁷. I believe the president needs to [give] ⁸ an explanation. What happened there has done a disservice to all of our troops ^{9 10 11}, and it ¹²undermines America's ¹³ efforts in the region. It [puts] ¹⁴ our troops ¹⁵ in further jeopardy. It can increase acts of terror against America ¹⁶, and it undermines the ¹⁷ effort of the United States in the region. So ¹⁸it is important to [understand] ¹⁹ this as rapidly as possible and to make that explanation ²⁰ to the world."

—Los Angeles, May 5, 2004

[1] very quickly

[2] horrifying

[3] which the world has now seen

[4] absolutely

[5] and inexcusable

[6] —certainly the Pentagon—

[7] and inappropriate

[8] guarantee that the world is going to have

[9] who serve with great valor

[10] and greater courage

[11] and, I think, with distinction

[12] also

[13] own

[14] has the potential of putting

[15] —the rest of them—

[16] and Americans

[17] overal l

[18] I think

[19] have an understanding of

[20] and any other appropriate comments

Got a Kerryism? Send it to kerryisms@slate.com.