Halle Berry, Six-Toed Freak
Plus, more from this week's tabloids.
Russell Crowe, crime-fighter.
The Gladiator star was spotted in a police station in Paris, according to the National Enquirer. The tab asks the obvious questions—"Who'd he hit? Did he use a PHONE?"—before revealing that in fact Crowe witnessed an American couple getting mugged. "Eyewitness Crowe then allez'd to the station, confidently ID'd a mug shot—and in less than an hour, Monsieur Le Mugger was manacled."
Halle Berry, six-toed freak.
Enquirer "Star Flaws" perennial Halle Berry is at it again, wearing an open-toed sandal that reveals what the tab claims are six toes on her left foot. Others disagree with that assessment, but the caption makes the Enquirer's stance pretty clear: "One Toe Many! Halle Berry may be a perfect 10 but when it comes to toes, she's a six."
What do you have to do to get acquainted with Paris Hilton?
Character actor-turned-sex-tape profiteer Tom Sizemore has said that he bedded a then-19-year-old Paris Hilton. She denied all: "He is not an acquaintance of mine, nor have I ever had intimate relations with him. It is disappointing Mr. Sizemore has to use my name to sell his DVDs." But this week's Enquirer unearths photos of Sizemore and Hilton pawing each other in the actor's bathroom. Paris' rep's new statement: "Paris is not denying she was at a party at Sizemore's home and not denying there are photos where he had a hand on her thigh. What she is denying is that she had sex with Tom Sizemore."
Céline Dion may have had some work done. Life & Style's "Could she get any more gorgeous?" feature has Canadian warbler Céline Dion in its cross hairs. So, what plastic surgery is Céline suspected of having already had? Oh, just a brow lift around 1997, "subtle Restylane filler around her eyes to add fullness," a chemical peel in 2003, "a little Botox in her forehead and between her brows," subtle nasal surgery in her late teens, and maybe veneers or caps on her teeth. Not that the magazine shies away from compliments. "Her neck is holding up beautifully," one doc says.
Brad and Angelina photographed together. Everyone runs pictures of the couple and her children playing on the "private" beach behind Pitt's Malibu home. Us brings out the body-language expert: "His hand on [Maddox's] wrist indicates a comfort level that not only he has with the child but that Angelina has with him. She's like, 'OK, you can touch my child.' " But Pitt's fondness for the kids has InTouch worried: The magazine reports, "Some wonder if Brad is more enamored with his new role as dad than he is with being a boyfriend to the sultry Angelina." Interestingly, not a single "friend" or "source" or "insider" is quoted voicing any such wonders, which has some (us) wondering if the only people wondering about Brad are InTouch staffers with blank pages to fill.
Are Regis and Kelly breaking up?
Life & Style and the Enquirer both say that there's trouble in morning-show paradise. L&S totally fails to sell its headline, "Regis and Kelly: A living hell?" The article's sharpest ammunition? "The cutesy yet bitter banter … may not be so innocent." The Enquirer has slightly better dirt. "An insider close to the chat show" reports the following alleged low blow from Ripa: "Saying he's old and forgetful is one thing, but saying he also turns off younger viewers is hitting below the belt."
Jen and Brad talk on the phone! Supposedly.
InTouch supplies another article sourced from deep within a celebrity's psyche. This one details a phone conversation between Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, supposedly the first time the newly divorced twosome has talked "in months." "One warm evening in late October, Jennifer Aniston was alone and sipping a glass of white wine at her Malibu beachfront when the phone rang … Jennifer deliberately waited for it to ring a second time and tried to calm her nerves before she picked it up." The piece is illustrated with out-of-context photos of the two of them talking on cell phones.
Ben Wasserstein is an associate editor at New York magazine.