Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst test the waters. Everyone reports that the Elizabethtown co-stars looked awful cuddly when they were in Miami for the Video Music Awards. Star goes further, claiming to have "an eyewitness" who saw them smooching in a hotel pool. "Everyone was watching them, but they carried on making out regardless. … It was hot!" As for Bloom's significant other, Kate Bosworth, Star quotes a source who reports: "[Orlando] would leave Kate in a second if Kirsten became available." That source? A "friend."
Paris Hilton needs cue cards.
InTouch details Paris Hilton's most recent difficulties: remembering her lines during reshoots for the film National Lampoon's Pledge This! The tab says, "She spent a lot of time on her cell phone complaining to pals." According to Hilton, 24, "'I haven't had to concentrate since I was, like, 15.' "
Tom Cruise needs work. Life & Style asks a plastic surgeon what she'd recommend for Tom Cruise, whose handsomeness, if little else, you may have believed to be unassailable. Not so. Dr. Linda Li, "a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon who hasn't treated the star," suggests: upper- and lower-lid eyelid work; Botox on the eyes and forehead; a modest brow lift; laser treatments or a chemical peel to maintain his skin's elasticity; " 'a very conservative refinement of the nose' "; veneers to make his teeth more symmetrical; and a neck lift or liposuction beneath the chin.
Brad and Angelina to wed! Soon! (Maybe!) The tabs continue to push Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie down the aisle. "PLANNING TO MARRY!" screams Us's cover. A photo caption inside offers a different appraisal: "'They won't get married for a while,' a source tells Us." Quite the opposite, says Star, which has a cover blaring "Wedding on the way! Brad & Angelina TO ELOPE! Sooner Than You Think!" The tab goes so far as to name the "perfect place" for the nuptials (George Clooney's Lake Como villa) and to Photoshop together a picture of Jolie in a white dress and Pitt in a tuxedo. Star says the wedding will occur sometime between the end of November and next spring.
Lindsay Lohan wants Ashton Kutcher.
Star writes that Ashton Kutcher and Lindsay Lohan hooked up at a party in "early April 2003" and that Lohan still carries a torch for him, much to Kutcher's girlfriend Demi Moore's consternation. In an unlikely sounding anonymous quote, a "pal" says that party-happy Lohan is ready to settle down—but only with Kutcher. "'[Lohan]'s been saying a guy like Ashton could make her change her ways—if only he'd give her another chance at love.'"
Star gets political.
Deemed "Out" this week: "Condaleezza Rice shopping for shoes in NYC instead of helping relief effort." Also: "Mojitos—drinks flavored with mint."