At first, the Enquirer, Star, and Globe behaved themselves in covering JFK Jr.'s death. Then they came to their senses.

From the moment it became clear that John F. Kennedy Jr. and his two passengers had been lost at sea, Keeping Tabs--who was passingly acquainted with Kennedy--began to brace herself for the inevitable tabloid onslaught. During the first week after the crash, though, the tabs seemed so stunned by Kennedy's death that they exercised--dare we say it?--a modicum of restraint. Sure, they couldn't resist a few salacious details here and there ("Carolyn was haunted by dire premonition!" screamed the National Enquirer), but they all weighed in with elaborately reverent photo tributes that were virtually indistinguishable from those in the mainstream press. The Enquirer, which called its special memorial issue "a loving tribute," even offered to forward its readers' condolences to the Kennedy family, a gesture that seemed touching in its inappropriateness.

But the honeymoon was short-lived. The tabs--especially the Globe--soon woke from their stupor and attacked the story with their usual zeal, claiming to have the inside track on everything from the "secrets the tragic couple took to the grave" to the precise condition of the victims' bodies. A look at some of the sorrier moments in Kennedy coverage:

Most tenuous Kennedy tie-in: The Enquirer's story about the death of actress Sandra Gould, best known as nosy neighbor Gladys Kravitz on Bewitched. The Enquirer manages to find it "ironic" that Gould died just days after Kennedy, given that Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis once bumped into her at Bloomingdale's and confided that John and Caroline were "huge fans."

Most tasteless headline: "The Kennedy Clan: Who's Left?" above a Globe photo spread identifying each of the 26 Kennedy cousins.

Trend we'd like to see nipped in the bud right now: The Star's anointing of Caroline Schlossberg's 6-year-old son as the heir apparent to the Kennedy mantle, noting the boy's "charming personality and ease with strangers" as well as his "uncanny resemblance" to his uncle.

Story so pathetic it almost made us laugh: The Globe's insistence that Kennedy could have "averted tragedy" had he heeded his July 16 horoscope, which warned Sagittarians to "remain close to home." "His headstrong Sagittarian nature refused to bow to the laws of the universe," laments astrologer Lynne Palmer.

Photo so pathetic it almost made us laugh: The Globe's shot of convenience store employee Mesfin Gebreegziabher holding items similar to the ones Kennedy purchased on his way to the airport the night he died: a bottle of Evian water, a banana, and a package of Duracell batteries.

Most unnecessary story: The Globe's list of the "Dream Couple's 50 favorite things," including Carolyn Bessette's favorite masseuse (Bree Neumann) and John's favorite cereal (oatmeal).

Most unnecessary photo: A tie between the Globe's full-page shot of John receiving what is said to be his last communion and the Star's grainy frame-grab purportedly showing the Today show's Katie Couric "breaking down" while reporting from Hyannis Port, Mass.

Most groan-inducing euphemism for death: The Globe's story on Kennedy's lifelong love affair with planes ends by suggesting that "on July 16, like his dad, John took his big plane to heaven."