(Should Clinton be able to watch the grand jury's reaction on a monitor? "No, Clinton's total concentration should be on the eyeballs of Ken Starr.")
David Kendall should be invisible, too: You don't want Clinton to look like a puppet of his lawyers. And as for Hillary, forget it. "Hillary cannot be there! No, no, no! It is too awkward. Just one quick nanosecond glance at her, just one moment of discomfort, and the grand jury will see it. You don't want that! Keep her out of the West Wing. Keep her out of the White House. Some time later they can go on some benign morning talk show together and talk about this."
And what if Bain were advising Starr?
"I would make Clinton look as small as possible. I would show the desk. I would show Clinton fidgeting with his hands. And I would show Starr. Starr has been well trained to smile benignly. He has learned to smile sweetly to the media, because he realizes that America does not like him that much. He has developed this beatific smile, and I would want to show that.
"Behind Starr I would put a neutral or chocolate-brown background--but not black--so his flesh tones look good. He is a pale-looking fellow. You really have to warm him up."
Movies and The Dress, Part 2
Last week I suggested that Clinton watch three movies for inspiration about how to escape the dress: Primary Colors, Presumed Innocent, and There's Something About Mary. Reader Jason Furman reminds me of a fourth film: Gattaca, a sci-fi thriller in which the hero hides small packets of blood in his fingertip and urine in his bladder (don't ask how) in order to fool DNA tests. Does the CIA have such technology, Mr. President?
TODAY IN SLATE
Scalia’s Liberal Streak
The conservative justice’s most brilliant—and surprisingly progressive—moments on the bench.
Colorado Is Ground Zero for the Fight Over Female Voters
There’s a Way to Keep Ex-Cons Out of Prison That Pays for Itself. Why Don’t More States Use It?
The NFL Explains How It Sees “the Role of the Female”
The Music Industry Is Ignoring Some of the Best Black Women Singing R&B
Theo’s Joint and Vanessa’s Whiskey
No sitcom did the “Very Special Episode” as well as The Cosby Show.
The Other Huxtable Effect
Thirty years ago, The Cosby Show gave us one of TV’s great feminists.