(Should Clinton be able to watch the grand jury's reaction on a monitor? "No, Clinton's total concentration should be on the eyeballs of Ken Starr.")
David Kendall should be invisible, too: You don't want Clinton to look like a puppet of his lawyers. And as for Hillary, forget it. "Hillary cannot be there! No, no, no! It is too awkward. Just one quick nanosecond glance at her, just one moment of discomfort, and the grand jury will see it. You don't want that! Keep her out of the West Wing. Keep her out of the White House. Some time later they can go on some benign morning talk show together and talk about this."
And what if Bain were advising Starr?
"I would make Clinton look as small as possible. I would show the desk. I would show Clinton fidgeting with his hands. And I would show Starr. Starr has been well trained to smile benignly. He has learned to smile sweetly to the media, because he realizes that America does not like him that much. He has developed this beatific smile, and I would want to show that.
"Behind Starr I would put a neutral or chocolate-brown background--but not black--so his flesh tones look good. He is a pale-looking fellow. You really have to warm him up."
Movies and The Dress, Part 2
Last week I suggested that Clinton watch three movies for inspiration about how to escape the dress: Primary Colors, Presumed Innocent, and There's Something About Mary. Reader Jason Furman reminds me of a fourth film: Gattaca, a sci-fi thriller in which the hero hides small packets of blood in his fingertip and urine in his bladder (don't ask how) in order to fool DNA tests. Does the CIA have such technology, Mr. President?
TODAY IN SLATE
The Democrats’ War at Home
How can the president’s party defend itself from the president’s foreign policy blunders?
Congress’ Public Shaming of the Secret Service Was Political Grandstanding at Its Best
Michigan’s Tradition of Football “Toughness” Needs to Go—Starting With Coach Hoke
A Plentiful, Renewable Resource That America Keeps Overlooking
Windows 8 Was So Bad That Microsoft Will Skip Straight to Windows 10
Cringing. Ducking. Mumbling.
How GOP candidates react whenever someone brings up reproductive rights or gay marriage.
You Deserve a Pre-cation
The smartest job perk you’ve never heard of.