The Complete Bidenisms
Collecting the vice president's gaffes and head-slappers.
"[Tom Delay] hasn't talked to members of his family in I don't know how many years. The next Republican that tells me I'm not religious, I'm gonna shove my rosary beads down their throat!"—Interview with GQ, March 2006
"Will we make a mistake? Yes. I'm confident. That's why my sister got this idea: Whenever I say something that's totally original, I'll say, 'As my father would say,' or 'As my grandfather would say,' or somebody—when I know it's me!"—Describing his gaffe-evasion strategy for the 2008 presidential campaign during an interview with GQ, March 2006
"Like, 'Joe? Goddammit. Stand UP. Stand up.' I gotta take a leak. …"—Interrupting himself while telling a parable about football and politics during an interview with GQ, March 2006
"Find enough beautiful women and enough guys will show up. … The Hill newspaper is here, and they'll think that's a sexist remark."—Explaining his secret of fundraising to a group of young supporters, Washington, D.C., October 31, 2005
"I told him he was welcome to use them whenever he liked, with or without attribution."—joking with reporters after having handed British Labor Party leader Neil Kinnock—whose speeches Biden plagiarized during his failed 1988 presidential bid—a bound copy of his own speeches, London, Jan. 13, 1988
''I exaggerate when I'm angry, but I've never gone around telling people things that aren't true about me.''—responding in the New York Times to uproar over his telling a campaign event questioner that he was smarter than said voter (around that time he released a statement admitting much of what he had said about his academic record was not true), Sept. 21, 1987
"I think I probably have a much higher IQ than you do, I suspect. I went to law school on a full academic scholarship, the only one in my class to have a full academic scholarship. … [I] went back to law school and, in fact, ended up in the top half of my class. I won the international moot court competition. I was the outstanding student in the political science department at the end of my year. I graduated with three degrees from undergraduate school and 165 credits, only needed 123 credits, and I'd be delighted to sit down and compare my IQ to yours, if you'd like, Frank." —misrepresenting his academic record and comparing IQs with a questioner at campaign stop in Claremont, N.H., April 3, 1987
Click here to see video of Biden's comments.
Correction, Oct. 19, 2009: This quote originally misspelled the name of the Augean stables. (Return to the corrected sentence.)
Jeremy Stahl is Slate's social media editor. You can follow him on Twitter.