Entry 10:

Hi there,

And a beautiful morning it is. Today we are definitely the lucky ones, free to roam the sunny streets while our working brethren stare longingly out the window at shadows. The only question for me is, to zoo or not to zoo. We are a mere five minutes walk from the famous Tian Tian and Mei Xiang, and you can feel the excitement in the air. Already this morning I've seen three saucer-eyed kids cartwheeling their way down the hill to the zoo entrance.

My newspaper today is giddy with goofy puns, publishing a special section (a special section!) called Panda Primer in which the pair is described as "So Cute, It's Unbearable," charismatic, exciting, nature's perfect beast.

On the other hand, I am married to the world's worst panda crank, so my loyalties are divided. (Loyal Slate readers will recall the article in which David describes the earlier set of pandas as bores, dreary, anti-social, nature's couch potatoes, unpleasant, neurotic, among other insults.)

Do I risk exposing Noa to bitter disillusionment so early in life? I suppose I'll just have to decide for myself. I will head out to the zoo, either this afternoon or tomorrow, and report back to you.

As for the rest of the mommy-centric stories, you're right, it is sort of Obvious Day today: Diets don't work; big cars roll over. On the other hand, I like both those stories, the diet one because it bursts the Atkins bubble. For the last few years I've watched friends and colleagues bow to the Atkins cult, load their breakfast plates with greasy eggs and sausage, and convince themselves they're losing weight. Now it turns out it's the high-carb diets that work long term. Next year's diet trend: Back to Bagels.

The SUV story I like because I like all stories that demonize SUVs and because I dream of one day becoming an urban terrorist who wanders suburban streets slashing SUV tires, spray-painting CVS windows, etc.

OK, I can't stand being inside any longer. Must take a walk.

I only propose one last thing. I feel we can't end this "Breakfast Table" without making some mutual mommy confessions--minor of course, nothing serious, just serious enough to horrify the safety nazis. I will begin with a few questions:

1. Do you ever leave your child unattended on the changing table? If so, for how long?

2. Do you ever know your child has dirty diapers in the middle of the night and fail to change them?

3. Do you ever use your child as a lap table and prop books, newspapers, notebooks on him?

4. Have you ever mistakenly written on your child's face, hands, body?

With honesty,

H