Entry 14:

Rhodeman,

Good morning to you.

Your last e-mail yesterday introduced how people learn to use violence, or violent socialization. Common to violent people, the socialization encompasses 1) brutalization (being forced by violence or threat of violence to submit to an authority figure; witnessing the same treatment to an intimate; being coached to resolve any differences through violence), 2) belligerency (heeding the coaching by trying violence in an attempt to prevent further subjugation), 3) violent performances (trying defensive violence), and finally 4) virulency (when others show respect and fear, expanding the violence to include offensive domination).

I have been working with that model of violent socialization the last couple of years in a couple of prisons. The men who joined anger management groups and those seeking individual counseling did so for a number of reasons, including escaping the boredom of their cells and improving their chances for early parole. But many of the men talked about wanting a different life for their children. When offered violent socialization as an explanation of the way they came to be as they are today, some were surprised at their personal responsibility in the training of their kids. I remember one prisoner in particular who reported in a group session that during the past week he had realized his 5-year-old son was beating on his toys the same way he beat on his son. Not one of those men, though, thought of themselves as having been "abused." Abuse is a normative term. They said: "I was a bad kid, I deserved it. ... My old man was tough, he expected a lot out of me. ... You gotta take care of yourself. ... " Again, I am not so naive that I think people change just because they find insight into their motivations, but people who have strong reasons to change can, with hard work and meaningful support. Nonviolent coaching. Alternative choices. We could go a long way toward reducing violence by minimizing the brutalization of all children, offering credible alternatives for handling disputes, and understanding that mentors matter.

You mentioned that my last research study was to begin the statistical validation of the violent socialization model. My next study is to collect more information from violent people, this time looking at people who no longer use violence in their lives. What happens during the change process? We have data that indicates violent people become less violent as they grow older. How do they change? Does something happen to encourage that change? Are there important people involved?

Today McVeigh would have died. At some point in Timothy McVeigh's life he was brutalized by some credible authority figure (perhaps via his family or his peer group or during his military experience), and he learned that he could get his way through violent action. Whether there is any hope for change from the McVeighs of the world, I don't know. But I do think we can prevent the development of future McVeighs by concentrating on those things I mentioned. We are all responsible.

Whew!

G

P.S.: Thanks for saving me a piece of that pie. And that coyote is back, eating the rejected cat food I put out for the crows. Interesting, I don't hear the crows complaining.