Zombie-Teen Ninjas and Other Neglected Topics

Mim Udovitch and Mick Farren

Zombie-Teen Ninjas and Other Neglected Topics

Mim Udovitch and Mick Farren

Zombie-Teen Ninjas and Other Neglected Topics
An email conversation about the news of the day.
Oct. 7 1999 2:59 PM

Mim Udovitch and Mick Farren

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And so, dear Mim,

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Just one more cup of coffee for the road, regrettably leaving so much I haven't mentioned.

Like how I fear every attempt at universal health care will be sandbagged by the insurance companies. Like how an English doctor demonstrated that the pharmaceutical industry charges us up to 1,000 percent more than they do for the same medication in Europe. Like how Kathie Lee and other sweatshop profiteers should thank those CIA-sponsored death squads of the '80s, and the taxpayers who footed the bill. Like how pleased I was with the e-mail on drug legalization. Like campaign funding reform and the TV industry. Like Dan Quayle on Letterman. Like how come capitalism forgot the need for the worker-consumer? Like how the religious right is now gunning for American Airlines' gay-rights policy. Like will Joey survive the second series of The Sopranos?

But I agree that k.j., who called us "overpaid," needs to be set straight. This is the creative poor, friends and neighbors, just ask my landlord. If it's any consolation, a "dissembling, conflicted blowhard" is also known as an "artist" where I come from. I'm also starting to suspect that pound-the-pundit is the other half of the collective game, and goes with the territory. It's like the sideshow bozo above the tank of water; if they don't hurl the balls, we don't have a show. (We'll see if they ask me back.)

On the matter of armed overthrow of the government, I don't think I can help you. I believe I gave my word to the INS that I wouldn't do that kind of thing when I applied for my green card. Since a gentleman's word must still be his bond, the best I can offer is to stand romantically on a hill, the breeze flapping my duster coat around my legs, rolling a quarter across my knuckles, and watching as crack assault units of Hello Kitty, the Trenchcoat Mafia, and zombie-teen ninjas penetrate the Beltway.

That's only leaves me to thank you for making the suggestion, Susan for spotting some useful news items, and Slate for having me in for the ride.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Mick has left the table.

Mim Udovitch has written about pop culture and other premillennial topics for Esquire, Rolling Stone, and the New York Times Book Review. Mick Farren is a writer, musician, and author of the novel Jim Morrison's Adventures in the Afterlife, to be published next month (clickhereto buy the book andhereto buy his band's CD).