The Castoffs of the Rich and Famous

Merrill Markoe and Todd Hanson

The Castoffs of the Rich and Famous

Merrill Markoe and Todd Hanson

The Castoffs of the Rich and Famous
An email conversation about the news of the day.
Nov. 18 1999 6:37 PM

Merrill Markoe and Todd Hanson

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Dear Todd:

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Thanks so much for the compliments. Although since I was only one of many people involved with the Letterman show, God only knows whose jokes you were repeating.

Well, I guess this it. Our last e-mail. Which makes me a little sad, but I guess my sadness will be offset by the celebration being thrown by our hate-mail buddies. And their feelings matter, too. To someone. Even if not to me or you.

I was holding off buying your Gary Coleman gift after reading in USA Today that Drew Barrymore's estranged mother, Jaid, also has a Web site on which she is auctioning off several collections of Drew's baby clothes (including an undershirt decorated with baby chicks). OK, yes, this seems like a shockingly lowbrow, sociopathically self-serving, egomaniacal betrayal and perversion of the mother-daughter bond until after you hear how touchingly Jaid explains it: "Drew is such a special amazing magical person" she says," that I decided to put some of her things up on the Web site to allow people to be a part of her life." And you know, if there is a better way to become a part of the life of a complete stranger than to own their baby clothing, it can only be to own their spatula. So I think I have made my gift decision. Todd, go buy yourself some eggs and sit by the mailbox. Better cooking is on it's way.

This has been a lot of fun. Thanks.

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Coming in two weeks:
Tucker Carlson and Evan Smith go out to Breakfast on George W. Bush.

Merrill Markoe is a humorist and a former writer for Late Night With David Letterman. She is the author of Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love (clickhereto buy it). An accomplished dishwasher, floor-mopper, and cash-register clerk, Todd Hanson is head writer forThe Onion. Our Dumb Century, by the staff of The Onion, was recently awarded the Thurber Prize for American Humor (clickhereto buy it).