She Ain't All That

Hirschorn and Udovitch

She Ain't All That

Hirschorn and Udovitch

She Ain't All That
An email conversation about the news of the day.
Feb. 24 1999 7:55 PM

Hirschorn and Udovitch

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I don't want you to yell at me. I can't help being disagreeable; it's just my personality. What I was trying to say was not that I suspect Hillary Clinton of being a woman of good, moral substance whose politics accord with mine. On the contrary, on every point. The health-care thing was certainly a debacle for people wanting health care. As I understand Travelgate, it had no substance, but was purely political. Given that everybody is now taking her seriously as a candidate for Senate, and given you think she's regarded as an icon by hard-up progressives and a deity by the womany set, it wasn't politically a fiasco. But I wouldn't be surprised if it had substance that I have failed to grasp, because I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Don't make me confess it again. I don't dispute, but do reject as an example of substance, that she probably was involved in other ethical transgressions, for pity's sake. Be serious. I like blancmange. Really cold things hurt my teeth. I would rather see Patch Adams than get drunk with Al D'Amato, although he does seem to have a way with the babelicious babes, so I might be missing something. Could it be the same thing I'm missing about Travelgate? I'd go drinking with Moynihan if I didn't have to miss any Law and Order reruns on A&E, but that's how I feel about pretty much everyone. Not that they're beating down the door to get to me. I still haven't read Wendy Shalit's book, so I still don't know if it's any good, but she's probably still good-looking. I'd like to amend what I said about having nothing but contempt for our president as little better than a murderer. I have more contempt for him than I have for some murderers and less contempt than I have for others. I absolutely oppose giving the state the power to execute people and as far as I'm concerned anyone who stands idly by twiddling her thumbs while her husband, the governor of Arkansas, exercises this power is absolutely corrupt in terms of substance, whatever her political skills may or may not be.

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If indeed the independent counsel act were rescinded, that to me would be epochal. I mean literally I would feel that my epoch had passed. I would feel post-epochal. But I am farther from the exit of the 18- to 34-year-old demographic than you are, sadly. I think those Pokemon are cute, even if I don't understand what they are except characters on the Japanese TV show that gave children seizures. But I read about them. There's one called Jigglypuff that battles other Pokemon with its power of sleep-inducing singing and one called Psyduck that battles other Pokemon with its vacant lull look. Like a Calvin Klein model, I'm imagining.

Michael Hirschorn, formerly editor of Spin magazine, has just exited the 18 to 34 demographic. Mim Udovitch has written about pop culture and other premillennial topics for Esquire, Rolling Stone, and the New York Times Book Review.