Entry 31:

Marjorie,

So what's worse, living as a participant in a theme park (the Amish) or as a visitor in a theme park (non-Windsor British monarchists)? Beats me.

(Incidentally, thank you for teaching me how to italicize in Word, so I don't have to resort to cranky-looking pronouncements in ALL CAPS.)

Yeah, it's kind of nice being home (though I'm sure I'll be driving you crazy soon enough; this office we share isn't exactly roomy). I had a pretty good job interview today, so maybe I'll be out of here while we're still getting along.

I never did get back to you on your first posting, and wanted to share this stray thought about Ralph Lauren and the Star-Spangled banner: Will he still like it after it's restored and it no longer boasts the tasteful earth tones accumulated since the War of 1812? Red, white and blue aren't exactly Ralph Lauren colors, are they? And if the restoration goes properly, they'll be bright when the Smithsonian is done. On the other hand, the flag will still be tattered (I don't see what a restoration can do about that), so maybe it'll still fit the Lauren aesthetic.

Also, I wanted to thank reader Bill Bell for e-mailing some examples of monandrous insects, i.e., insects that have sex once and then never again: mayflies, caddisflies, and stoneflies. "The insects gather in huge swarms, mate frenetically, and then fall into the water to be eaten by trout," he writes. That clears up the mystery of how you can remain living and not have sex; apparently, you can't. Bell says there are "entire books written on the subject" (monandrous insects, that is) available from Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble. Is this a great Internet, or what?

Enthusiastically,

Tim