The Breakfast Table

Ten Best Idiotic Breakfast Table Posts

Nell:

You have to tell your 20 favorite movies now! Oh, let me guess: You gave it away with the Marx Brothers, so I’ll guess Duck Soup with room for A Day at the Races. Probably Pinocchio is right up your alley (it’s up mine). Singin’ in the Rain would make both our lists. The Wizard of Oz is doubtless on yours. Ditto The Philadelphia Story. (I’d go with The Lady Eve and The Shop Around the Corner.) My list has Bride of Frankenstein, which I bet isn’t on yours, and I doubt that Jaws is there, either. Surely we agree on the Godfather films and Steamboat Bill, Jr. and His Girl Friday. Do we agree on Seven Samurai? Smiles of a Summer Night? The 400 Blows? Breathless? A Touch of Evil? Taxi Driver? McCabe and Mrs. Miller? You know the problem here? There’s no room for movies I adore but that somehow seem too “small” to be counted among the Greatest. How do I find space for California Split or The Long Goodbye? Hail the Conquering Hero? Kiss Me Deadly? Truly, Madly, Deeply? Lacombe, Lucien? Peckinpah’s Ride the High Country? Something Wild and Melvin and Howard? Vanya on 42nd Street and the Russian King Lear? Carrie? Do I dare include George Romero’s Martin? The Horror of Dracula and Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed? It’s impossible to limit myself to 10, 20, or even 100. And you know what else? I don’t want to take responsibility for calling any movie my favorite.

Thank you for printing that invitation to have “a dynamic and lasting influence” on those Republican senators in return for cash. Who was that senator who loudly denounced the Clinton White House for its sleazy Lincoln bedroom hustle, but whose name then turned up on a high-priced fundraising invitation to the historic mansion of Vice President Dan Quayle? I don’t fault you for giving money to Republicans–most of the Democrats I vote for nowadays are to the right of the Republicans I voted against 20 years ago. I’d like to think of myself as above partisan politics. I’d like to say I’d vote for the best candidate, whatever his or her affiliation. Hell, I’ll admit it: The first time I was ever allowed to vote for President, I voted for John Anderson. And every time the Supreme Court issues a 5-4 or 6-3 decision with Scalia or Thomas writing for the majority, I feel like whipping myself with a cat-o’-nine-tails.

I’m looking forward to my Snake Eyes review, too. I wonder what the hell I’m going to say.