Honey, Who Shrunk the Mutual Fund?

Beam and Howard

Honey, Who Shrunk the Mutual Fund?

Beam and Howard

Honey, Who Shrunk the Mutual Fund?
An email conversation about the news of the day.
Sept. 1 1998 11:06 AM

Beam and Howard

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Oh, Margo. Oh, Margo.

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My wife actually stumbled down to the breakfast table this morning, and believe me, we weren't talking about Russia. (Where we first met, but that, as they say, is another story.) We were talking about lucre.

I mean, come on . . . Yupsters everywhere are dialing those Fidelity and Schwab 800-numbers looking for deals on bond funds. Hah! A dollar short and an hour late, kiddos. Cash is king, but aside from you and I, Margo, I don't think too many people have any. And, by the way, would you mind paying for lunch this Sunday?

Even Mr. Too Cool to Worry About Something So Pedestrian as Money (me) reached into the C-section (sorry) of the Wall Street Journal this morning to check a couple of things. I probably should have looked at some mutual funds, but I can never remember what price I bought them at. I did check New York Times, which owns the Globe and has a good stock plan (until we diluted their value, but never mind that). The NYT has been down, but held steady yesterday. It's certainly well above the pre-split 52, where I sold last summer and then bragged relentlessly in the newsroom.

Enough, already.

Yes, Russia is terrible, and Mr. Bill and Boris looked pretty darned glum exchanging "gifts"--a tattered American flag, a loaf of bread that looked like a brick--on CNN this morning. The thought of Clinton meandering among all those Russian schoolgirls in those beautiful white lace pinafores . . . the mind boggles. I did spot this great comment about Clinton, attributed to "flamboyant ((read: drunk)) nationalist" Vladimir
Zhirinovsky: "What can we say about a leader who can't solve his problems with his secretary? By our Russian traditions, he should divorce his wife and marry the secretary, and turn the page."

Thanks for sharing, Volodya.

You are right; the Diana special was awful. Although my wife redeemed it for me, when she spotted Dickie Attenborough on the screen, and said: "I thought Burl Ives was dead."