Arianna Huffington and Harry Shearer
Entry 58:
Because we all need closure (it's what follows healing, which is what follows sharing, all of which precedes heaving), the news has given us a symmetrical ending for this little rodomontade. Yesterday, the feds issued new guidelines defining down obesity. Today, the front pages are full of scientists announcing that the mysterious neutrino, that pesky sub-atomic particle, does in fact possess mass, perhaps enough mass, given the quantity of neutrinos out there, to explain the 90 percent of the universe's mass not accounted for by visible matter. So, all the newly obese have an excuse when their doctors try to prescribe next year's phen-fen: it's not me that's fat, it's my neutrinos. Don't knock Dallas. It's the Republicans' Athens. Til the next time.
Arianna Huffington is a nationally syndicated columnist. Harry Shearer is host of radio's Le Show, a screenwriter, an actor, and provider of several voices on The Simpsons.