Martial arts made easy.

Not long ago, out of curiosity, I picked up some exercise videos by Billy Blanks, the king of Tae-Bo. What a flop. The sets were cheesy, the music was awful 1980s synth-pop, and despite their martial-arts pretensions, the routines felt more like aerobics in disguise than like kung fu. But after flailing away in my living room for a few nights, my interest was piqued, and I decided to find out more about the real thing. Which martial art teaches good self-defense tactics? Which one would give me a good aerobic workout? How daunting would it be to jump into a class as a complete beginner? And would I get pummeled by the other students?

To find out, I tried a handful of karate, tae kwon do, aikido, jujitsu, and kung fu classes in the Seattle area. I scored each one in several areas: how intimidating the class would be to a novice; how much the exercises worked my muscles; how much of an I got; whether it would develop coordination and balance; how much physical contact with other people was involved; and, of course, its value in self-defense. All ratings are on a scale of one to five, with five being the hardest, most intimidating, or most valuable.

To experts, this will look like a hopelessly biased and superficial inquiry. It is. But to beginners, it is one step toward figuring out which martial art might be right for you. Do you want a chance to kick the stuffing out of someone? Take tae kwon do. Do you want to improve your sense of balance? Take karate. Do you want to know what to do if someone tries to choke you? Take jujitsu. Just remember that if you're jumped by a mugger, the only thing Tae-Bo will be good for is making your attacker collapse into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Kung Fu

Reputation: 1960s martial arts movies; Bruce Lee.

Intimidation Factor: 4

In the all-levels group I observed at Seven Star Women's Kung Fu, there were a dozen or so women dressed completely in black. (Most classes I took were co-ed.) The school wouldn't let me take the class--I could only watch--but that was better than Temple Kung Fu, which made me sit for an interview before they'd even reveal any information on their classes. There seemed to be an active screening process to keep out those with only a casual interest.

Strength Workout: 3

After meditating for a few minutes, students launched into traditional strengthening exercises (push-ups and sit-ups) and then broke into pairs, with one person kicking pads held by the other. It looked to be decent strength training. Their arms got a good workout from the push-ups and punching; abs, from the sit-ups; and the lower body, from the kicking. It was not extreme, and nobody seemed exhausted.

Aerobic Workout: 2