"Well, I wanted to talk to you in person," I said. "And now that I have you on the phone, let's talk about this exciting business offer!" I couldn't believe how smooth I was—"this exciting business offer" wasn't even in the training manual script.
"Let's not," said the shipping manager.
I decided to try catalog companies. The first one I called, for a company that sells stylish clothes for women who prefer elastic waistbands, actually put me through right away to the shipping manager. I gave my spiel.
"We have a company that audits all misdeliveries and late deliveries," he said.
"You do?" I said. Could it be that Refund Recovery was a legitimate business? Could Dallas college student George Milovic have gotten here first?
"Yes. It's a download that goes straight to them. We're very happy with it."
I managed to ask him the name of this wonderful service, but he didn't know, and the guy who did was away. I hung up with a new sense of purpose, which was quickly shattered by all subsequent phone calls.
"We don't do a lot of shipping. What we do we have no problem with, so I don't know where you got your information." Click.
"I handle all that, but thanks for calling." Click.
"If things are late, we let them know, and they don't charge us." Click.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola
The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.
I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.
Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.
Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore
And schools are getting worried.
Global Marches Demand Action on Climate Change
- Protesters Take to the Streets to Sound Alarm on Climate Change in New York, Across the World
- Knife-Carrying White House Jumper is Vet who Feared “Atmosphere Was Collapsing”
- North Korea: American Sentenced to Hard Labor Wanted to Become “Second Snowden”
- Almost One in Four Americans Support Idea of Splitting From the Union
Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem
Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology.