Can this spam make me rich?

Humiliating myself for fun and profit.
April 11 2003 3:36 PM

Spam I Am

I try an Internet get-rich-quick scheme.

(Continued from Page 1)

"Can I speak to someone who handles shipping?" I countered.

"Are you soliciting new business?"

Advertisement

"I can help you get your money back from UPS or FedEx for packages delivered late."

"No thank you." Click.

Since my head didn't explode, I went on to the next law firm and asked for the shipping manager.

"Who's calling, please?"

"Emily Yoffe?"

"Who are you with?"

"Refund Recovery." As I said this, sweat appeared on my upper lip, and my underarms got clammy.

Illustration by Nina Frenkel

"He's on the other line. You can leave a message or call back." They have a shipping manager! I suddenly felt the first gushes of my income stream. I knew he would never return my call, so I said I'd call back. During the course of the day, I tried this shipping manager five more times, but he was always on the other line. Finally, around 4 p.m., I got through. The shipping manager didn't sound happy to hear from me.

"I do want to talk to you because I don't appreciate your calling so often and refusing to leave a message," he said. "My receptionist says you're driving her nuts. That's the only reason I took this call."