Poo at the ZooBat guano, elephant dung, rhino pee, and other substances I encountered in my brief, smelly stint as a zookeeper.
I Got To Roll Out the Tarp, but …How I humiliated myself working on the Washington Nationals grounds crew.
Chess With KnivesCan I master fencing, the sport for vicious brainiacs?
A Colonial DameMy brief, inspiring career as a historical re-enactor.
Diaper GenieCan I cut it as a day care worker, one of the most exhausting, worst paid, and smelliest jobs in America?
The Most Dangerous GameI have never played golf. So why, oh, why, did I start now?
Playing DoctorOh, no! I’m the first patient these 23 medical students have ever examined.
I’ve Got The SecretWhat happened when I followed the best-selling book’s advice for two months.
The Math MoronI can barely add and subtract. Can I learn enough math in five months to help my fifth-grader with her homework?
A Visit to My FutureBingo. 3 p.m. dinner. Leisure World. What happens when I try to live like a senior citizen.
Russell Crowe in My ViewfinderMy brief career as a paparazzo.
Sleeping With the FishesI thought ice fishing would be cold, uncomfortable, and a little bit dangerous. How wrong I was.
Naked and the DreadI pose nude for students. Will the art world ever be the same?
Dog DancingMy beagle and I try America's weirdest pet hobby.
Great Balls of MatzoIt's me vs. 420-pound Eric "Badlands" Booker for the title of world matzo-ball-eating champion.
America's Oldest Living Fly Girl Tells AllMy brief, booty-shaking gig as a bar mitzvah motivational dancer.
Dead LettersEveryone has terrible handwriting these days. My daughter and I set out to fix ours.
Where There's E-Smoke …Should I be ostracized for smoking electronic cigarettes?
Spandex FantasyI have a lifetime's worth of flab. Can I turn it into muscle in four months?
Man MadeMy short life as a drag king.
Playing DoctorOh, no! I'm the first patient these 23 medical students have ever examined.
Rigtime GalI go drilling for natural gas on a rig in the Gulf of Mexico.
My Starvation DietI've cut back to 1,500 calories a day. Will I live to be 120 years old?
The Dog That Didn't BarkCan I cure my sociopathic beagle with the Dog Whisperer's techniques?
Tears of a ClownI bomb as a kids' birthday party entertainer.
Am I the Next Jack Abramoff?In which I discover that any idiot—even me—can be a Washington lobbyist.
Mascot for a DayMy adventure as a 10-foot-tall, inflatable George Washington.
Caution: Student DriverCan I learn how to drive a stick shift?
Song of the DamnedI'm tuneless. In four weeks, I make my concert debut.
QVC, Here I Come!Can I get my brilliant new product—Hairmuffs—on home shopping television?