Guinea Get Your GunHow I learned to love firearms.
There She Is, Mrs. America. …Will they really let me compete in a beauty pageant?
Got Me HypnotizedI begin to cure my night-owl problem by going into a trance.
Full Metal RacketThe perverse thrill of metal detecting, the world's worst hobby.
Spam I AmI try an Internet get-rich-quick scheme.
Tiaras of a ClownI'm the only contestant in the Mrs. Washington, D.C., pageant. Can I find a way to lose it?
Silent TreatmentHave you ever wished your wife would just shut up? Here's what happens when she does.
Mime Is MoneyMy dreadful career as a street performer.
My Life as a Phone PsychicCallers are paying $2 a minute for a supernatural adviser. They're getting me instead.
Face-OffFour plastic surgeons tell me what's wrong with my face.